Temperature Play
Dabbling with hot and cold sensations can be an intriguing way to explore erotic sensuality with yourself or with a partner.
Dabbling with different temperatures can be a fun way to bring variety, playfulness, and new sensations into your sexy time. Our bodies have so many potential erogenous zones. It’s easy to focus solely on the genitals and forget the myriad sensitive areas over the entire body. Introducing hot and cold can be an intriguing way to explore with yourself or with a partner.
Focusing on your senses helps you to stay present in the moment, get out of your head, and pay attention to what your body is feeling. Adding temperature is a relatively easy addition to sensual play. Getting curious about incorporating hot/cold and negotiating consent around it beforehand also alerts your brain to prepare and be on alert for new sensations. It can create exciting and sexy anticipation for your body to experience something new.
3 Ways to bring the heat
Use a massage candle or warmed massage oil to explore erogenous zones with heated wax/oil.
Drink something hot before kissing or oral sex
Focus a showerhead with various degrees of warm water on your genitals. For a hands free pleasure tool, consider the Waterslyde water diverter for an arousing water experience.
3 Ways to cool it down
Keep an ice cube in your mouth while kissing or during oral sex.
Run a piece of ice down your throat and follow the drip down to your navel or have a partner follow the drip with their tongue. Try the sensation of cold grazing the nipples or ear lobes.
Play with popsicles or whipped cream and have fun licking it off.
1 WAy to add intensity
Taking away one sense can heighten another. Consider blindfolding a partner on the receiving end of temperature play, with consent first of course. This can add an element of surprise and intensity to hot and cold sensations.
More on these topics:
Using your senses for pleasure
Your brain’s sexual excitement system
Waterslyde (use code CINDY for 10% off)
Maude massage candles (code CINDY10)
Make Some Noise During Sex
Women often censor themselves in their experience with pleasure and passion by not giving themselves the freedom to make noise during sex. Copulatory vocalizations are natural and normal.
For many years I worked as a Labor and Delivery nurse, helping to guide strong women through their birth experiences. I was surprised to find that in the midst of doing this incredible work of birthing their child, they were censoring themselves and trying to keep silent. This did not serve them well in the intense work and whole body experience of labor. I was always encouraging mothers to moan and groan or make whatever noise release felt good for them, as they worked with their bodies to bring their babies into the world.
It often took quite a bit of coaxing to get the women to vocalize. They didn’t feel it was acceptable or okay for them to make noise. This is because so many women have been conditioned to be silent or to be quiet in general. And not just with pain and discomfort, but also when their bodies are in movement, action or pleasure.
This idea parallels with sex.
Women often censor themselves in their experience with pleasure and passion by not giving themselves the freedom to make noise. It is natural and normal to be vocal with the sensations you experience during sex. Allowing your body to express itself audibly can be powerful and usher in more erotic energy.
Explore the idea of allowing yourself to connect your voice with the feelings in your body.
Give yourself the freedom to express what your body is experiencing. This may also help you be more present in your body.
The term for this is copulatory vocalizations.
Scientists have found that sexual noises may enhance pleasure. Pleasure is not something that you must keep silent about, it is not a secret you have to keep! Additionally, making noise may also serve as non-verbal communication and positive reinforcement with a partner. So…
Moan, Scream, Talk, Whisper, Sigh, Groan, Cry, Hum…
Get curious about giving yourself permission to make some noise.
Listen: 'Cultivating Your Sensuality & Erotic Energy' on the Smart Sex podcast
Listen in on my nourishing conversation about sensuality and erotic energy with certified sex therapist Leslie Gustafson on the Smart Sex podcast.
I was back as a guest with sex therapist Leslie Gustafson on the Smart Sex Podcast, with a nourishing conversation for women of all ages on cultivating your sensuality and erotic energy.
We define and highlight ways in which women can embrace these vital elements of sexuality individually, as well as in relationships. Our discussion addresses the potential barriers to sensuality & eroticism, and highlights strategies for using your senses, voice, touch, movement and mind to journey into more freedom and fullness of healthy sexuality.
Join the conversation via the links below.
(Links to our previous episodes: Her Body, Her Pleasure HERE and Foreplay & Arousal HERE)