Female Anatomy 101

Sex education for the majority of girls includes the internal female anatomy, but often leaves out the external. So, while you may know terms such as uterus, ovaries and vagina. You may be less familiar with the vulva, labia and mons pubis. Beyond belief is the fact that the clitoris is often left out of sex education altogether. To be clear:

the clitoris is the central anatomy for female pleasure. 

This blog is designed to give you a basic overview of female external anatomy.  It can also be used to help give parents language to use as they educate their children.

VULVA

The vulva is the external female genitalia. I like to say - if you put your hand over your body from your pubic bone to below your vaginal opening -THIS is your vulva. It is A LOT more than your vagina, thus the reason we need to differentiate. (demo video)

The vulva and the vagina are not the same thing.

The vulva includes: the labia, clitoris, opening to the urethra, opening to the vagina, and mons pubis. No two vulvas are exactly the same.

Normal vulvas do not look like what you see in pornography or magazines. Those images are often airbrushed and altered. There is a lot of beautiful diversity in normal vulvas.

THE TWO OPENINGS IN THE VULVA

The opening to the vagina. The vagina is a muscular tube that extends from the vulva to the opening of the uterus called the cervix. Menstrual fluid/period blood flows from the vaginal opening. (demo video)

The opening to the urethra. The urethra is the tube that transports urine (pee) from the bladder to the outside of your body. It is located above the opening to the vagina and below the glans clitoris. Urine/pee flows from the urethral opening. (demo video)

MONS PUBIS

The mons pubis is the soft tissue mound that covers the pubic bone. During puberty, pubic hair grows in this area. The mons pubis contains oil-secreting glands that release pheromones, which play a role in sexual attraction. The mons pubis can be many shapes and sizes and can change as you age. Your body and your mons pubis is unique to you.

PUBIC HAIR

Pubic hair is not unhygienic or dirty and in fact serves a purpose. It provides a natural cushion against friction. It provides a barrier to help protect you from viruses and bacteria. It protects your skin against irritation and plays a role in regulating temperature. It is always your own personal decision what you do with your pubic hair.

CLITORIS

The clitoris is an entire network. The glans or head is the only external and visible part of a whole connected internal structure. The glans is located near the top of your vulva, where your inner labia meet. It can be about the size of a pea or as big as a thumb. Each person’s clitoris can be a different size. The clitoris is made up of spongy erectile tissue that swells with sexual arousal. There is a clitoral hood located where your labia minora (inner lips) meet. This hood may cover all, some or none of your glans clitoris. The clitoris has thousands of sensitive nerve endings. (demo video)

The primary function of the the clitoris: sensation and pleasure.

For more on the clitoris please see the blog: The Clitoris - it’s a Network!

LABIA

The vulva has two sets of labia. The outer lips are called labia majora. The inner lips are called labia minora. Female labia come in all shapes, sizes and coloring. The labia minora often extend beyond the labia majora. This is normal. The inner lips may be all one color, or may be several colors with possible darkening toward the ends. One lip may be longer or shorter than the other. Again, all normal. 

PERINEUM

The perineum is located below the entrance to the vagina and above the anus. This small area has a network of blood vessels and tissue below the surface. For many, it is pleasure sensitive area after arousal and increased blood flow.

ANUS

The anus is located below the vaginal opening. It is the opening to your rectum. This is where feces (poop) exits your body. It has lots of sensitive nerve endings. The anus does not self lubricate. (demo video)

My Letter To Young Women

You are a human woman and your humanness includes being a sexual being. Your female body, as well as the curiosity and arousal you feel as a sexual human woman, is normal. This is part of the beautiful complexity of how you are designed.

Rather than embracing the exquisite way we are made as women, we develop ways to hide it and even come to hate it. We are propelled along this path both overtly and covertly by what we are taught within our families, culture and by religious teaching.

What did you grow up hearing about your body and developing sexuality? Was it positive and affirming or do words like “dirty,” “bad” and “shameful” come to mind? You are not alone. Did you grow up with a resounding silence around your femaleness? Silence about your genitals, silence about your body changing, and silence regarding sex. You are not alone.

The vast majority of girls in North America grow up with this kind of messaging and/or with silence surrounding their sexuality. These negative messages plant themselves like seeds into our minds and bodies. What often grows from those seeds is shame.

Shame is the result of thinking or hearing, “I am bad.” Shame is different from guilt. Guilt is the result of thinking “I did something bad.” Shame can also be the result of silence. So, whether you experienced silence about sex, or negative messaging that left you feeling you are “bad,” both of these scenarios can lead to the shame cycle. For a long time now, our culture and some religious teachings have used this shaming as a way of teaching the purity message, especially to girls. It’s a subliminal way of spelling out who we are to be as females, how we are to act as “good girls,” and the negative narrative about if we fail to meet these expectations.

Author and shame researcher Brené Brown states, “Shame is not a compass for moral behavior.” I believe this is true. Shame is a lousy compass and presents us with directions that lead to roads of silence, self-lies and sexual disgust. It hides the pathways to healthy body image and sexuality.

While it is extremely difficult for us as women to change this negative mantra and the lies that have taken root in our minds and bodies; it is possible. Not only is it possible, but it is absolutely crucial for us as we travel the journey of becoming whole, healthy humans. How do we shift away from our body-hating, and our buried self-disgust of our sexuality? What steps can we take to move into affirming acceptance of ourselves and ultimately come to a place of embracing our body as she is?

First we must remind ourselves that our body image does not include adjectives such as “dirty,” “bad” or “shameful.” We must tell ourselves over and over that we do not need to deny our femaleness; we do not have to hate our bodies. It is important to really think through the negative messages we have absorbed over the years and decide if they honestly hold true for us or if we need to let them go. Another step we can take is to give ourselves permission to look at our genitals, actually use a mirror and become acquainted with our good and beautiful body as she is. There is nothing shameful or wrong about understanding our body and how she works. Lastly, we can be mindful and come to understand that sexual pleasure for women is beautiful and we are equipped with the sexual anatomy to experience that pleasure.

I urge you to remind each other of our female uniqueness. Seize opportunities to encourage the women in your life toward acceptance of the goodness in how we are beautifully made. Speak the words of truth to each other - that we are beloved, fully accepted and truly loved as we are right now. As we do these things, we will begin to break the silence surrounding female sexuality. The silence that is within ourselves and amongst ourselves that hinders us from embracing the beautiful creation of woman. The beautiful creation of YOU.

Cindy

Do I Need To Douche?

Forget all the damaging myths that your vagina is in need of some kind of cleaning

There is so much false and constant messaging that women’s genitalia is in need of upkeep at all times. Beware! This incorrect information comes from sources that are also trying to sell you something.

The vagina is a self-cleaning organ

It uses natural secretions to carry dead cells and unwanted bacteria out of your body.

This means that douching and using other products like deodorants, sprays, washes, or powders is not a healthy practice. These kinds of products can disturb the natural pH balance found in the vagina.

Let your vagina clean herself. She is perfectly capable to do so!

Here’s my live answer to this frequently asked question at a recent workshop:

Medications and Your Sexual Health

Medications can affect your sexual health.

It is always smart to ask about side effects before starting any medication. It is also smart to ask specifically about side effects to your sexual health. Although I realize that many providers do not address sex, I want to encourage you to be the one to bring it up! If that sounds scary, I have provided tips on how to talk to a provider about sex to help you.

Your sexual health matters and I want to help you gain confidence to talk about it! If you think you may be experiencing side effects like these below or others, contact your health care provider to discuss it.

Examples of sexual function that can be affected:

• ability to reach orgasm

• natural lubrication

• diminishment of sensations

• erectile dysfunction or problems with ejaculation

• decrease in sexual desire.

Examples of medications that may have side effects for your sexual health:

• antidepressants (SSRIs and your sex life)

• hormones and hormonal birth control

• anti-hypertensives for high blood pressure

• some antihistamines

Talking About Sexual Health With Your Medical Provider

Sexual health is part of your overall health.
Many people find it uncomfortable to talk about sex and sexuality.
Talking about it with a medical provider can feel scary enough to keep you silent.

It can be intimidating, but your sexual health matters.

As a longtime nurse and patient advocate, one of the easiest tools I encourage clients to use is this:
write out a script or questions on a small card or in your phone and take with you to medical appointments. When a health care provider sees that you have specific questions or concerns written down, it helps them to pause, listen and address your concerns. It also helps you to remember what you want to ask or what you want to talk about.

Here are some talking points to get you started:

• I would like to discuss my sexual health or I would like to discuss sex.

• Something is not working correctly or ___ is happening.

• ____ is interfering with my sexual desire/arousal/orgasms/genitals/pleasure.

• What I think might be going on is ___.

• I can’t figure out what is going on.

• What can we do to figure this out? Are there tests we can do?

• If you cannot help me, who can you refer me to?

• Will you please give me that referral before I leave today?

What Is Pre-Cum? Can I Get Pregnant From It?

The fluid that comes out of a penis during arousal — but before ejaculation — is called pre-ejaculate. Some people refer to it as “pre-cum.”

It is made up of several fluids but mostly fluid from the Cowper's gland. Its main functions are to provide lubrication and neutralize the acidity of the urethra.

Pre-cum can contain live sperm in a small percentage of people. Sperm may also be present if the person has not urinated since their last ejaculation.

So, the fact is:

You can get pregnant from pre-cum.

Pre-ejaculate fluid can also contain STI’s (sexually transmitted infections).

Also, most men cannot tell when they have pre-ejaculated.

Coitus Interruptus or The Withdrawal Method are terms for unprotected penetrative sex where the penis is pulled out prior to ejaculation. If you use "pulling out" as your primary method of birth control, the estimated chance of pregnancy over a one year period is 1 in 5.

What Is The Hymen?

Here are some facts about the hymen:

• The hymen is a thin membrane-like tissue that’s located inside the opening of the vagina

• The shape, size, and flexibility of a hymen is unique to each person

• The hymen tissue doesn’t have a known function

• Most often the hymen naturally has a hole or holes in it.

• These holes are big enough for menstrual blood to come out

• There are some vulvas with so little hymenal tissue that it would appear they don’t have one

• There are rare cases where the hymen covers the entire vaginal opening requiring surgical intervention

• The hymen tissue is thin and is naturally stretched with activities like riding a bike, playing sports and inserting a tampon or finger into the vagina.

• Once stretched, the hymen does not grow back.

• The hymen is a membrane with relatively few blood vessels, so if torn or stretched, may not bleed significantly.

• An examination of the hymen is NOT an accurate or reliable “test” of history of sexual activity.