When Kids Ask Questions
6 top reasons kids ask questions. Understanding the why behind your child’s questions about their bodies and sex.
When your child asks you questions about sexual health, you certainly want to give them an answer. Consider going a step further with them to determine the why behind the question, so that you are providing the right information at the right time. It can be helpful for you to understand the reasons behind why they are asking.
One way to do this is by asking a follow up question such as, “What made you ask that question?” or “Good question! What have you heard about this?”
Here are the 6 TOP reasons kids ask questions
Information - This can be a simple straightforward inquiry. They are curious or possibly wanting context for something they have seen or heard. They’re looking for education and information.
Am I normal - They want to understand if they are normal, and what is normal. They are seeking to learn how they fit into normal when they feel like they don’t.
Shock Value - They are looking for your reaction to a question, their knowledge about something, or their desire to know something. Your reaction and response is giving them information about what they can ask you about. They may be thinking, “Am I allowed to talk about this topic with my parent?” or “Can my parent handle these kind of questions?”
Permission seeking - They are seeking to get your permission for something. They may also be trying to determine if they need/want your permission.
Values based - They want to understand the values you hold surrounding a topic or question. The older they get they may also be determining if they align with your values.
Personal - They have something going on with their body, sexuality, or other personal question. The inquiry is directly about themselves.
With all the above, try to be intentional about affirming the ask and helping them understand that you are a safe person to continue coming to with all their questions.
Learn more about this topic:
Be your child’s sexual health educator
4 questions for parents as they talk about sexual health
10 tips for parents
Childhood sexual abuse prevention: 2 tools
6 tips for using sexual health themed books with your child
Book review: 'Mother's, Daughter's and Body Image' by Hillary McBride
This book provides nourishing practices and language for women to examine unhealthy narratives and replace them with healthy ones. McBride has been an excellent teacher for me and I always learn something from her that is both thoughtful and useful. Her book is a gentle guide for women who desire to re-examine the old scripts over their bodies and embrace a new one.
This beautiful offering from Hillary McBride is one I give as a gift often, and highly recommend to women of all ages. McBride has been an excellent teacher for me over the past several years through her writings and interviews. I always learn something from her that is both thoughtful and useful for my life. I find her to be a wonderful guide for women who desire to re-examine the old scripts over their bodies and embrace a new one.
Along with true stories of young women and their mother’s, the author shares her own story of “recovery from an eating disorder, and how her struggles led her to dream of a new vision for womanhood—from one without body shame, negative comparisons, or insecurities, to one of freedom, connection, and acceptance.”
I agree with McBride that, “Sociocultural messages inundate our dialogues about what it means to be a girl or woman.” This book provides nourishing practices and language for women to revisit unhealthy narratives and replace them with healthy ones. It will help to guide you toward the eye-opening realization of just how often we unknowingly participate “in our own objectification to try to ensure our worth.” It will assist you in a gentle way, to give yourself permission to embrace a different way.
In her words, “This all makes me think about what would happen if I was able to love myself, my body, the parts and the whole, in the way that I love other people? What if as women we could dedicate ourselves to practice kindness and care towards ourselves in the way that we are often so good at being kind and caring to those around us?”
I have found much needed freedom through the words in this book. I am now kinder and gentler toward myself. My hope is that you will find that freedom too.
* To hear more from Hillary on this topic, listen to our conversation on the Permission for Pleasure Podcast: Learning to Listen to Your Body.
Note: This blog includes affiliate links from Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn money from actions readers take on these links, such as a click or purchase. However, this is a book that I recommend fully and have purchased myself.
