Kivin Method
A how-to guide to the Kivin Method: Oral for her -sideways!
The Kivin method is more of a position than a technique. It is oral sex for her – sideways. This right angle can allow for increased sensations and highly pleasurable stimulation. Some describe experiencing involuntary, pre-orgasmic contractions and/or powerful orgasms with this position.
How it works:
Position:
The giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva (T-shape)
The receiver’s leg will be draped over the giver’s shoulder
Try using pillows to make things comfortable
Technique:
The giver uses their tongue side to side across the vulva
Focus on exploring the labia, inner thighs, and other areas first before the clitoral hood, and the clitoris
Make circles, flick your tongue, gently suck - try different and varied techniques to see what brings pleasurable sensations
Remember that the clitoris is erectile tissue.
This means it will swell when aroused.
Some givers of the Kivin method describe that once the clitoris is good and aroused, they can feel two tiny bumps on either side of the clitoral hood with their tongue. These are called “K” points, and they are tiny - like a grain of rice. If you feel these, use your tongue across the clitoral hood between these points.
That said, not every person with a vulva enjoys this kind of stimulation nor has detectable “K” points. Experiment and play, then talk through these questions together:
Do you like this kind of stimulation?
Is it pleasurable for you?
As a partner do you enjoy giving oral in this position?
Is it fun and exciting to try something new?
4 Techniques Women Use To Increase Pleasure With Penetration
Learn 4 techniques women use to increase pleasure with penetration.
While there are a percentage of women who sometimes orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, most of the women I have talked to over three decades as a nurse say that they cannot or rarely do.
You are normal if you do or don’t!
I want to share 4 techniques women use to increase their pleasure with penetration. To clarify, when I say penetration, this can mean a penis, toy, or fingers. These techniques outlined below provide stimulation to the clitoris which is the main pleasure organ for women.
OMGyes, a research company and website devoted to women’s sexual pleasure, in partnership with Indiana University School of Medicine, conducted a nationally representative study of over 3000 women ages 18-93, and I am sharing their results. These techniques were reported and named through their study and published in the scientific journal, PLOS ONE
Having language for what works or to describe what you want can be helpful.
It is helpful for yourself, in understanding your body and how you experience pleasure. Additionally, it can be very helpful in communicating with a partner - to describe what you want and desire. You may read one or more of these techniques and think to yourself, “Ohhhh, I do that!” Or, you might read and think, “Hmmmm…. I want to try that one and see how it feels!” Get curious and explore. Your pleasure matters!
4 ways women report experiencing more pleasure from vaginal penetration
Shallowing:
84% of women report using this technique
This is touch that stays just inside the entrance of the vagina - not all the way into the vagina. It is often slower, shallow thrusts and more gentle motions. Some women report enjoying a “curling motion” over and over. Good arousal and warm up time is key along with adequate lubrication. The perineum or tissue between the vagina and rectum is sensitive and will want lubrication to decrease friction but not sensation!
Watch my demo on Instagram
Pairing:
70% of women report using this technique
This is basically including stimulation to the clitoris along with penetration at the same time. This can be done by either by the woman, by her partner or with a toy. Remember, the clitoris is the key to women’s pleasure. So, if you enjoy stimulation to the glans clitoris on the outside of the vulva -reach down to stimulate that area. You can do this yourself or ask a partner do it. Have a conversation about it and you might ask a partner if you can guide their hand to show them where/how you enjoy the touch. Also consider choosing positions that allow for this kind of reach to the glans clitoris.
Watch my demo on Vimeo
Rocking:
76% of women report using this technique
With rocking, penetration stays inside. There isn’t thrusting motion. This allows the glans clitoris to be in constant contact without interrupted stimulation. Some people may call this grinding or other terms. If you are doing this with a partner, one way to “remind” them to keep still might be to wrap your legs around them. This prevents them from moving and allows more grinding and rocking motions by you rather than them (whether you are on the top or on the bottom).
Watch my demo on Instagram
Angling:
88% of women report using this technique
You may be doing this naturally, as it involves rotating, raising, or lowering the hips to adjust where the penis, fingers or toy comes in contact with the clitoral hood or glans clitoris. The distance between the clitoris and vaginal opening varies from woman to woman so there is not a set landmark to gauge from. You might consider using a pillow under your buttocks and experimenting with height and firmness. Another option to try is rounding your back to tuck your pelvis up or putting one leg up. Get creative and try tilting different ways and in different angles for different sensations.
These four techniques identified by OMGYES can really help you to talk about things you want to try or positions you want to use with a partner. Communication is key.
Prefer to listen? Hear Pleasure Techniques on the Permission for Pleasure Podcast
Learn more about these topics
All about the clitoris
The clitoris has a hood
Orgasm questions
Why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Talking with a partner about sex
Why vibrators work for women
Guide to lube
Can Women Be Multiorgasmic? How Can I Experience Multiple Orgasms?
Are multiple orgasms possible? Yes they are and here are some tips for exploring and enjoying more pleasure.
Question: “I’ve read a lot about women having multiple orgasms at a time. Is that a real thing? How can I achieve multiple orgasms at one time?”
Yes! women can be multi-orgasmic
Multi-orgasmic means capable of having more than one orgasm in a single sexual session. While women have the capacity to be multi-orgasmic, not every woman experiences them nor desires them. The available research suggests approximately 15% of women report experiencing multiple orgasms and there is also a broad range of how women describe their experiences. Multi-orgasmic women would attest that allowing yourself to experience multiple orgasms requires not only a good understanding of your own body and how you function sexually, but a good amount of practice as well.
Whether you experience one orgasm at a time or more in one setting — you are normal!
Orgasm is something you allow to happen.
Often women need an adjustment in their mindset from achieve to allow. This may help with recognizing and experiencing pleasure and that alone is a win. If the orgasms keep coming, well …. even more reason to celebrate. (More on orgasm here.)
Women have a large area of erectile tissue included in the whole clitoral network. All of that network is available to be activated with stimulation if there is adequate arousal. After experiencing an orgasm, the resolution phase (lowering of arousal) is a slower process for women. So, if arousal is maintained post initial climax, women can have the ability to build up to orgasm again and again in the same sexual session. Certainly, people may take a rest or pause, however they don’t allow enough time to significantly lower their level of arousal.
Keep in mind that it helps to be open to various forms of stimulation and ways to orgasm if you are wanting to experiment with understanding your body and how it can build up to orgasm more than once. Female bodies are able to experience many different kinds or types of orgasms depending on where and how the clitoral network or other erogenous zones are being stimulated.
(To learn more listen ‘The Key to Female Pleasure’)
Each orgasm may feel differently — this is normal.
Multi-orgasmic women describe making use of varied pleasure zones as well as forms of stimulation. So, while some people may be more prone than others to experience multiple orgasms, another factor that might come into play is one’s openness to what sex can look like. For example: oral stimulation; manual (self or partnered) stimulation; sensual touch and nipple play; penetration; pleasure techniques with penetration; stimulation to your G-spot, vibrators and changing of positions - all these variations are options for stimulating all the parts of the clitoris and other pleasure sensitive areas. Again, realistically it may take time for you to learn to recognize your response to various stimulation and what you enjoy and find pleasure in. Yes, that’s my encouragement for practice!
Be attentive to your most important sex organ!
Your brain is your most important sex organ. Mentally focus on pleasure and sensation rather than a goal of becoming multi-orgasmic. This is a healthy mindset that can help you in the allowing of climax. Intentionally engage your sensuality - what sparks or arouses sexual feelings or desire. Tune into your senses, this activates your sexual excitement system which you want to keep fired up to maintain arousal.
If having multiple orgasms is something you are curious about, and you are having partnered sex, talk about your desire together. You may also want to investigate these four techniques that women use to increase their pleasure with penetration. Communication is essential as you mutually explore.
* A note about males and multi-orgasm. While they may have the capacity to be multi-orgasmic, many don’t investigate this. For most men, climax usually involves ejaculation, (multi-orgasmic men often learn to experience orgasm without ejaculation). After ejaculation, the lowering of arousal phase (called refractory phase) is fast for men — much quicker than for women. Many men are unable to immediately become physically aroused again. From the research, we find that while males have the capacity to experience more than one orgasm in a sexual session, few have the desire to gain the needed self-control training required to experience it.
Curious? Listen to this episode: Can Men Be Mulit-orgasmic?
