Book Review: Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston CNM, RN, BSN, LMT

If you have a desire to explore taking your pleasure to the next level, this book is for you. Women’s Anatomy of Arousal won the American Academy of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) Book of the Year in 2010. It’s been around a while and remains a steadfast favorite of many. 

Winston’s writing is easy to understand, and she comes across like a more experienced, sensual, big sister. Packed with education on women’s anatomy and physiology, this practical guide includes sections for '‘Play and Practice,” allowing you to get practical with the material.

If you are open to erotic exploration outside the so-called box, you will find this book both enriching and entertaining. Through drawings, art, quotes, and poetry, Winston educates on energy, breathing, a little magic, and a lot of “higher-level, whole-system perspective.”

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and Winston’s “in-depth, illustrated tour of the land of female genitalia, feminine sexuality and the intimate erotic arts.”

***** Highly recommend

Buy on Amazon

Note: This blog includes affiliate links from Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn money from actions readers take on these links, such as a click or purchase. However, this is a book that I recommend fully and have purchased myself.

10 Ideas To Help You Explore Being a Sexual Person (No Masturbation Required)

In a recent Q & A someone asked me,

“How can you value yourself sexually besides through masturbation?”

This is a beautiful example of someone being sexually curious. They feel a desire to value or appreciate themselves as a sexual being.

Self-touching or masturbation is one healthy way to be sexual, but is certainly not the only way. You can be sexual outside of masturbating. Being an evolving sexual person is more than the act of having sex!

10 ideas to help you explore being a sexual person, and none of them involve Masturbation

• Think of yourself as a sexual being. If this is new for you, begin to see and acknowledge yourself as sexual. Even say it out loud to yourself to get comfortable with this natural and normal part of you. Read my letter to young women or explore this more in my book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden

• Explore your sexual ethic. Ask yourself questions like the following: What is your attitude about sex? What are your values around sex? What matters to you? What does sex mean to you? Try not to compare to others or media. Investigate and re-evaluate attitudes that may no longer be serving you. Considering journaling if it helps, or talk with a trusted friend.

• Get curious about what feels sexual to you and where you feel that in your body. Arousal can come from things other than touch such as your imagination or something that you see. What sparks signs of arousal and do you recognize them in your brain and body? These are normal questions to ask yourself as an ongoing conversation through the seasons of your life.

• Use your senses to engage with pleasure - embrace your sensuality. What sounds, sights, smells, tastes, non-sexual touches feel pleasurable in your body? How might you intentionally engage your senses to experience more pleasure. Here is a blog with specific ideas.

• Express yourself and your sexual energy through movement or dance. Use music or quiet, wear clothes or don’t, move with other’s or alone. Allow yourself the freedom to move and be fully present in your body. Not as a performance, just for you alone. Then, pause and ask yourself what that energy feels like and where it is moving within your body.

• Pursue non-sexual touch that feels comfortable to you. For example: stroke your arm, hug yourself, massage your scalp, circle your palm with your fingers, dry brush your skin. Close your eyes and notice the sensations you feel. Can you describe them?

• Make yourself a sensual playlist. Find songs that make you feel things in your body, spark curiosity or prompt desires. As you listen, pay attention to what it is you think or feel. Add and delete songs over time and as you change. Take it a step further by adding movement.

• Eye gaze with yourself in the mirror. Communicate care and tenderness to yourself through your gaze. Speak affirmations over yourself without vocal words – just using your eyes. Offer affirmations about your body, your mind, your sensuality —all of you!

• Begin a mindfulness practice. Take a few minutes every day to get quiet, breathe, and pay attention to the present moment without judgement. Practice keeping your mind in the present with your body. Learn more in Dr. Brotto’s book, or listen to our conversation together in this two-part episode on the podcast.

• Be in community with others who talk about sexual topics in a healthy way. Find a friend that is open to conversations or come over to my podcast community — a safe place to listen and learn along with others all around the world. Have your book club read my book and discuss it. I’ll even join you on zoom for a little Q & A!