Sex Cindy Scharkey Sex Cindy Scharkey

Temperature Play

Dabbling with hot and cold sensations can be an intriguing way to explore erotic sensuality with yourself or with a partner.

Dabbling with different temperatures can be a fun way to bring variety, playfulness, and new sensations into your sexy time. Our bodies have so many potential erogenous zones. It’s easy to focus solely on the genitals and forget the myriad sensitive areas over the entire body. Introducing hot and cold can be an intriguing way to explore with yourself or with a partner. 

Focusing on your senses helps you to stay present in the moment, get out of your head, and pay attention to what your body is feeling. Adding temperature is a relatively easy addition to sensual play. Getting curious about incorporating hot/cold and negotiating consent around it beforehand also alerts your brain to prepare and be on alert for new sensations. It can create exciting and sexy anticipation for your body to experience something new.

3 Ways to bring the heat

  1. Use a massage candle or warmed massage oil to explore erogenous zones with heated wax/oil.

  2. Drink something hot before kissing or oral sex

  3. Focus a showerhead with various degrees of warm water on your genitals. For a hands free pleasure tool, consider the Waterslyde water diverter for an arousing water experience.

3 Ways to cool it down

  1. Keep an ice cube in your mouth while kissing or during oral sex.

  2. Run a piece of ice down your throat and follow the drip down to your navel or have a partner follow the drip with their tongue. Try the sensation of cold grazing the nipples or ear lobes.

  3. Play with popsicles or whipped cream and have fun licking it off.

1 WAy to add intensity

  1. Taking away one sense can heighten another. Consider blindfolding a partner on the receiving end of temperature play, with consent first of course. This can add an element of surprise and intensity to hot and cold sensations.

More on these topics:
Using your senses for pleasure
Your brain’s sexual excitement system
Waterslyde (use code CINDY for 10% off)
Maude massage candles (code CINDY10)

 
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Communication Cindy Scharkey Communication Cindy Scharkey

Pleasurable Touch Exercise

Communicate to your partner how and where you enjoy being touched.

PLEASURABLE TOUCH


Often, we give touch the way we want to receive it. Our partner may enjoy touch differently than we do since everyone does not receive touch the same way.
It is important to communicate to your partner how and where you enjoy being touched.
Also, it is important to ask your partner how and where they enjoy being touched.

If you know each other extremely well, the exercise below may play out differently than if you are new to each other. Either way - have fun, listen well, communicate honestly and enjoy intentionally giving and receiving touch with each other.

This is a wonderful exercise to do regularly as a couple. We change, and pleasure in how we receive touch can also change.

TOUCHING SESSION

  • Take turns touching each other’s bodies all over

  • Start at the feet or head, and then move over the whole body, everywhere but the genitals

  • Tell each other how and where touch is most pleasurable for you

  • Listen and take note of what your partner says

  • Use a simple rating system that feels comfortable for you to communicate levels of pleasure

    • 0-5 (0 = doesn’t really do anything for me, 5 = that’s my favorite)

    • Humming or murmuring quietly to loudly

    • Simply saying yes, no or maybe

  • Fun options

    • Use massage oil or a massage candle for the touch session (check out products from Maude use code CINDY10 and Coconu use code PLEASURE)

    • Blindfold the partner receiving touch

    • At another time, use the information you gathered here first to touch your partner in all the places they find pleasurable and then include the genitals

*I may earn a small commission if you purchase products from my links. I choose carefully and only recommend products for their quality, performance, and overall reputation, regardless of any affiliate relationship.

 
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