The Clitoris Has a Hood
The clitoris has a hood that protects the glans. Every hood is unique and may enjoy different kinds of stimulation. Learn some techniques for more pleasure for a range of different bodies.
The clitoral hood is located at the top of the vulva where the labia minora (inner lips) meet. It is a fold of skin that protects the glans clitoris (the external part of the clitoris). The glans clitoris is packed with nerve endings and highly sensitive to touch and irritants, like friction. The hood is its protection.
Remember that the glans is only one part of the clitoris, the rest of its structure is internal, but still accessible for arousal and pleasure.
The amount of the glans covered by the clitoral hood varies from body to body. Each of our bodies is unique. The clitoral hood may cover all, some, or none of the glans clitoris.
When you become sexually aroused, your clitoris becomes engorged or swollen, this pulls back the clitoral hood allowing for more external access to the glans. Be sure to allow yourself enough time for adequate arousal. For some people, the clitoral hood is large, has extra tissue or is very thick. This may interfere with the kind of stimulation they may want/need to the glans clitoris. Below are some ideas to try for a range of different bodies.
Stimulation and pleasure
Sometimes it feels great to avoid touching the exposed glans and just stimulate the hood or layers of skin around it. For some people, the glans clitoris is sensitive to the point that it is uncomfortable when touched directly. Touching the hood may be a technique to explore for pleasure.
When you touch the clitoral hood and the skin around the glans - it gives the glans little nudges of stimulation indirectly.
Some people can orgasm from stimulation to the clitoral hood alone.
Techniques to try
Up and down strokes on the hood
Move the skin of the hood
Circling the hood
Tapping the hood
Gliding over the hood
Vibration sensations using a vibrator on or near the hood
If you have a very thick or larger clitoral hood
Techniques to try
Apply more direct pressure to the hood
Strong vibrations using a vibrator
Gently draw back the hood (if able) for more direct stimulation to the glans
Use adequate lubricant, and rub around the hood and glans to determine if you can “free up” the glans. If unable to, consult with your healthcare provider.
Some people suffer from clitoral adhesions that hinder the clitoral hood from fully retracting, if you feel this might be the case for you, see your healthcare provider to determine the cause and potential treatment options.
Learn more about these topics:
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Female anatomy 101
A guide to lube
Why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Why vibrators work for women
3 tips for boosting your arousal
Reclaim your arousal mindset
Talking about your sexual health with your medical provider
New Year Intentions For Better Sex
Intentions for better sex in the new year.
Get to know your body and anatomy
Gain more understanding of your sexuality
Give yourself permission to try something new
Get curious about eroticism and sensual play
Gain more education about sex through the podcast
Give yourself permission to talk about sex
Grow your sexual conversation with a partner by using these prompts
Gift yourself a vibrator or toy
Grab a good lubricant for sex
Get curious about temperature play
Give your arousal a nudge with these three tips
Get up for morning sex
Gift yourself a sexual wellness retreat with my book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
Get out of your bedroom boredom with an Ayra intimacy subscription box (use my discount code CS15)
Glow up your arousal with Foria’s CBD Intimacy Oil
Book Review: Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire, by Lori Brotto, PhD.
Do you want to know how sexual desire works and how it can be cultivated? Dr. Lori Brotto shares the research-based truths about desire that might literally transform your sex life!
“Attention training through mindfulness may be part of the recipe for cooking up sexual desire.”
Do you want to know how sexual desire works and how it can be cultivated? Dr. Lori Brotto, a professor, researcher, and psychologist shares the research-based truth about female desire in this book.
If you thought it was all about the hormones, think again! Brotto says, “Mood, sense of well-being, body image, self-esteem, and how a woman feels about her partner turned out to be far stronger predictors of her level of sexual desire than a single hormone.” She goes on to give many examples to help the reader understand how these elements in a woman’s life have an impact on desire.
What I appreciate about Lori Brotto is her ability to share all the best that science and research have to offer, in language every one of us can understand and apply for ourselves. Furthermore, in this book she offers practical tools and exercises that have been proven to help you transform your sex life.
Brotto’s studies have shown that paying attention during sex is a key factor in sexual arousal while inattention is a major inhibitor of a healthy sexual response. Our minds are busy, stressed and constantly multi-tasking. While it may seem obvious, we often forget that this does not bode well for our sex lives.
How do we pay more attention, and be more present during sex?
According to the research, Brotto says one way proven to help is “attention training through mindfulness.” What is mindfulness exactly? It is about “fully inhabiting the present moment, without trying to change anything. It involves a complete acceptance of who you are and what your experience is--without judgment,” says the author.
If the idea of mindfulness feels weird or difficult to you, this book offers a hopeful guide that will walk you through giving yourself permission to pay more attention with gentleness, and without judging yourself. Brotto offers easy to follow practices for all those interested in moving along the path to a healthy cultivation of their desire.
To hear Lori Brotto speak about desire, listen to the Permission for Pleasure Podcast episode 27.
Note: This blog includes affiliate links from Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn money from actions readers take on these links, such as a click or purchase. However, this is a book that I recommend fully and have purchased myself.
Articles about sex to increase your pleasure.
This is a round up of the most popular articles and blogs about sex with my newsletter community in recent months. I curate sex education, to help you increase your pleasure! Sign up to join our community.
Photo Credit: KScharkey
Here is a round up of a few articles and blogs about sex that were popular with my newsletter community. Cheers to more people increasing their pleasure through good education!
*If you enjoy curated sex education like this, I want to invite you sign up for my newsletter.
Pleasure Techniques with Penetration
Currently, my most visited blog about the 4 techniques women use to increase pleasure with penetration. The fact is, only about 18% of women orgasm with vaginal penetration alone. These techniques are worth exploring to increase your pleasure and allow for more orgasms!
11 Expert-Approved Sex Positions For Couples With High Drives
This article from mindbodygreen.com walks you through “specific techniques that feature the winning combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation.” It includes simple drawings to demonstrate each technique.
Why Vibrators Work for Women and How To Choose One
This blog draws a lot of readers! There is a lot of stigma around sex toys, but the reality is they don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo! Included are how to introduce a vibrator with a partner, choosing one that’s right for you and beginner recommendations.
Sex Sexperts Share How They Orgasm
This article from Dame gives voice to the myriad ways women climax involving vibrators, fingers, tongues and penetration. It will make it very clear that there is no right way to orgasm and why pleasure is the best focus!
The 10 Sex Questions Every Long-term Couple Wants To Ask
Great article by British sex expert Tracey Cox for the Daily Mail. It addresses solutions to the ten most common sex challenges people in long-term relationships face. She offers practical tips on oral sex, initiating sex, how to go about a sexual "reset," fantasy, and why doing the same thing over and over is "sexual suicide."
All About Lube
This blog gets a lot of traffic as well as it’s corresponding episode on the Permission for Pleasure Podcast (Episode 12). You’ll read the facts about lube, learn the types available, hear my personal recommendations, and get discount codes to try my favorites!
The 45+ Best Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try
If you are looking for a new sex position to try, you will definitely find it in this article. The 45+ Best Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try offers something for everyone. With each position you're given the name, benefits, technique, as well as a hot tip to go along with a drawn image.
Articles about sex and relationships to increase your pleasure and intimacy
This is a round up of the most popular articles and blogs about sex and relationships with my newsletter community in recent months. I curate sex education, so that you can increase your pleasure and intimacy! Sign up to join our community.
This is a round up of some recent articles and my blogs about sex and relationships to increase your pleasure and intimacy. These were the most popular with my newsletter community over the past several months and there is a little something for everyone!
*If you enjoy curated sex education like this, I want to invite you sign up HERE for my monthly newsletter where articles like these come straight to your inbox.
For women
10 Ways to Orgasm, That You Haven’t Thought of, According to Sex Therapists
Written for The Everygirl by Jose Santi, you might be surprised at a few of these. Often they aren't on your usual radar. Here's three examples: Building Sensuality Outside of the Bedroom, Don't Over-Hype the Climax and Explore Blended Orgasms.
Why Vibrators Work for Women and How To Choose One
By far one of my most popular blogs to date. There is a lot of stigma around sex toys, but the reality is they don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo! Included are how to introduce a vibrator with a partner, choosing one that’s right for you and recommendations.
Are There Different Kinds of Orgasms?
Are there really different types of female orgasms? Is one type better than another? My blog answers these frequently asked questions, and more — about clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, blended, and uterine orgasms. What's true and what isn't, and why pleasure is the best focus!
For Couples
11 Sexual Penetration Techniques To Insert Into Your Pleasure Routine
Written by Mary Grace Garis for WellandGood, this article walks you through "specific techniques that feature the winning combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation." It includes simple drawings to demonstrate each technique from OMGyes.com, a "sexual-education platform that uses research and real experiences to help vulva-owners maximize their pleasure.” YES to that!!
9 Ways To Use Your Hands During Sex That’ll Make You & Your Partner Feel So Good
This article offers some specific tips for using your hands as tools for pleasure. Written by Rachel Shatto for Elite Daily, the article breaks down ideas for him (create a tunnel of love), and her (knuckles are the new fingertips), to let your fingers do the talking!!
ONE For my over age 50 crowd
Redefining Sex After 50
A great article by Stephanie Auteri for The Buzz by Pure Romance. "We know that, as we grow older, things naturally change...Why, then, are so many of us resistant to adapting to the changes that can happen in the bedroom?" This article is honest talk about how to redefine sex as we age!!
Why Vibrators Work For Women and How To Choose One
Are you thinking of buying a sex toy? Here’s some tips on why vibrators work for women and how to choose one that’s right for you.
There can be a lot of stigma around vibrators and sex toys, but the reality is they don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. Think of using a vibrator as a sexy experiment, a helpful tool, or an enhancement for pleasure - for yourself, for your partner or for sharing as a couple.
Why vibrators work for women:
The majority of women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. A vibrator is one way to get that kind of intense stimulation. Lots of women use vibrators for solo play and exploration. Many women say they like using a vibrator with a partner, because it speeds up their arousal. Heterosexual couples might use a vibrator to combine intercourse with direct clitoral stimulation. Seniors often comment that a vibrator is the best way to get the stimulation they need to orgasm. These are just examples, there is no one right way to use a vibrator. The fun is in experimenting, and figuring out how one works best for you, or for you and your partner.
Four questions to consider before you choose one
How do you want to use it?
Do you want it specifically for clitoral stimulation, for vaginal penetration, or for both at the same time? Is this for solo play, partnered sex or for both?
How much power and how many options do you want it to have?
How much power and how many vibrational options do you want it to have? Consider the number of speed levels and variations in pressure. Do you want a suction or air puffs option? How many types of vibration patterns do want to be able to access. Basically, do you want to keep it simple or are you looking for a lot of bells and whistles?
Do you care about aesthetics?
i.e. how it looks, what it is made out of, and the texture or feel of the material. For example, do you want it to be phallic shaped (like a penis) or smaller in size - perhaps to fit right into your hand or even on your fingers.
How about noise level?
Do you need it to be whisper quiet or “turbo charged” is fine?
If you are a first time toy buyer:
It’s probably best to choose something simple that doesn’t feel overwhelming to look at. I recommend that you first use the vibrator on your inner thigh or arm and play with the speeds and vibrations. Do not immediately put it on your vulva and specifically your clitoris or clitoral hood until you have a good idea how it operates and feels. Every woman and each body is different. If one toy doesn’t seem right for you, that doesn’t mean no toy is right for you. It may take trying out a few - this is normal. Remember, as you go through seasons of life in your body, there will be shifts and changes. Stay curious about that, and adjust accordingly.
If you are buying a toy to use with a partner:
I highly recommend picking it out together. This allows for discussion about how you’ll use it and what appeals to both of you - always a good idea!
Oftentimes, one partner may be ready to introduce a toy and the other is hesitant or frankly has never even thought about it. Communication is essential. Remember a toy doesn’t talk, caress, kiss or cuddle. For couples, it’s an addition, not a replacement. Consent from both partners before adding something new into your intimacy is a must. Sometimes partners may feel they should be “enough” and if a vibrator is needed or desired then “something is wrong with you,” or “something is wrong with me.” This might stem from many things, perhaps a lack of sex education - especially about female bodies, false cultural narratives, toys being seen as taboo or negative past experiences. If talking about sex with your partner is difficult, as a segue you might read this blog together and start a conversation about why it might be helpful or fun or sexy to add a toy to the bedroom.
Pointing you in a direction to get started.
Picking vibrator for the first time can feel a bit daunting. New things, especially related to sex, often make people feel uncomfortable. You are not alone if you feel afraid to go into a store and buy a vibrator, or feel a bit nervous about starting with one. But guess what? You can buy one online and test it out without ever having to interact with a human being. Many companies often send them in discreet packaging, too, so you don’t feel uncomfortable pulling it out of your mailbox. Female-owned companies that I recommend are below. They sell unique vibrators, toys and have a reputation for offering high quality products.
MAUDE (use discount code CINDY10)
INTIMATE WELLBEING (use discount code CINDY15)
DAME
More on this topic
The clitoris it’s a network!
Vibrators, Edging & Anal Sex
Couples, Communication & Sex
Anatomy 101
*AFFILIATE LINKS AND RECOMMENDATIONS: I may earn a small commission when readers purchase products through my affiliate links. This doesn't affect which products are included. I choose products carefully, and anything I recommend on my website is recommended for its quality, performance, and overall reputation, regardless of any affiliate relationship.
Can Women Be Multiorgasmic? How Can I Experience Multiple Orgasms?
Are multiple orgasms possible? Yes they are and here are some tips for exploring and enjoying more pleasure.
Question: “I’ve read a lot about women having multiple orgasms at a time. Is that a real thing? How can I achieve multiple orgasms at one time?”
Yes! women can be multi-orgasmic
Multi-orgasmic means capable of having more than one orgasm in a single sexual session. While women have the capacity to be multi-orgasmic, not every woman experiences them nor desires them. The available research suggests approximately 15% of women report experiencing multiple orgasms and there is also a broad range of how women describe their experiences. Multi-orgasmic women would attest that allowing yourself to experience multiple orgasms requires not only a good understanding of your own body and how you function sexually, but a good amount of practice as well.
Whether you experience one orgasm at a time or more in one setting — you are normal!
Orgasm is something you allow to happen.
Often women need an adjustment in their mindset from achieve to allow. This may help with recognizing and experiencing pleasure and that alone is a win. If the orgasms keep coming, well …. even more reason to celebrate. (More on orgasm here.)
Women have a large area of erectile tissue included in the whole clitoral network. All of that network is available to be activated with stimulation if there is adequate arousal. After experiencing an orgasm, the resolution phase (lowering of arousal) is a slower process for women. So, if arousal is maintained post initial climax, women can have the ability to build up to orgasm again and again in the same sexual session. Certainly, people may take a rest or pause, however they don’t allow enough time to significantly lower their level of arousal.
Keep in mind that it helps to be open to various forms of stimulation and ways to orgasm if you are wanting to experiment with understanding your body and how it can build up to orgasm more than once. Female bodies are able to experience many different kinds or types of orgasms depending on where and how the clitoral network or other erogenous zones are being stimulated.
(To learn more listen ‘The Key to Female Pleasure’)
Each orgasm may feel differently — this is normal.
Multi-orgasmic women describe making use of varied pleasure zones as well as forms of stimulation. So, while some people may be more prone than others to experience multiple orgasms, another factor that might come into play is one’s openness to what sex can look like. For example: oral stimulation; manual (self or partnered) stimulation; sensual touch and nipple play; penetration; pleasure techniques with penetration; stimulation to your G-spot, vibrators and changing of positions - all these variations are options for stimulating all the parts of the clitoris and other pleasure sensitive areas. Again, realistically it may take time for you to learn to recognize your response to various stimulation and what you enjoy and find pleasure in. Yes, that’s my encouragement for practice!
Be attentive to your most important sex organ!
Your brain is your most important sex organ. Mentally focus on pleasure and sensation rather than a goal of becoming multi-orgasmic. This is a healthy mindset that can help you in the allowing of climax. Intentionally engage your sensuality - what sparks or arouses sexual feelings or desire. Tune into your senses, this activates your sexual excitement system which you want to keep fired up to maintain arousal.
If having multiple orgasms is something you are curious about, and you are having partnered sex, talk about your desire together. You may also want to investigate these four techniques that women use to increase their pleasure with penetration. Communication is essential as you mutually explore.
* A note about males and multi-orgasm. While they may have the capacity to be multi-orgasmic, many don’t investigate this. For most men, climax usually involves ejaculation, (multi-orgasmic men often learn to experience orgasm without ejaculation). After ejaculation, the lowering of arousal phase (called refractory phase) is fast for men — much quicker than for women. Many men are unable to immediately become physically aroused again. From the research, we find that while males have the capacity to experience more than one orgasm in a sexual session, few have the desire to gain the needed self-control training required to experience it.
Curious? Listen to this episode: Can Men Be Mulit-orgasmic?
