Permission for Pleasure is a podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality.
Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a health care professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure.
You can follow Permission for Pleasure on one or more of the platforms below.
episode 85: Turn up the volume on your sex life
Scientists have found that sexual noises go hand in hand with enhanced pleasure. Whether you hum, purr or moan - giving voice to what your body is feeling may make sex better. Bonus- it also serves as non-verbal communication and positive reinforcement to your partner!
To read about this topic:
Make some noise on the blog
episode 84: Masturbation - let’s dig in
People masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with masturbation. We discuss some practices and tips, as well as debunk a few common myths around solo sex.
August McLaughlin is a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio. Her acclaimed Girl Boner book is currently in its second printing.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:
Orgasm is a Big Brain Event with Dr. Nan Wise
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters with Dr. Nan Wise
Exploring Your Perspective of Pleasure
10 Ways to be Sexual Without Masturbating
Untangling Sexual Shame
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Natural Health Benefits of Orgasm
Episode 83: Tips from my pelvic floor physical therapist
All about the pelvic floor! Alexa Charbonneau, PT, DPT of Sarton Physical Therapy, joins me to offer her top tips and education for all ages and stages. Do you cough, laugh, sneeze and wet your pants? Do you have pain with sex? Do you have chronic prostatitis? While many of these might be common issues, they are not normal! The good news is there is physical therapy specifically for your pelvic floor. It may hold the solution you’ve been looking for.
Find Alexa Charbonneau and Pelvic Healing
Visit our episode sponsor Podbeat
More on these topics:
Pelvic Floor and Painful Sex
Painful sex
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat
episode 82: Doggy Style, Kivin Method and Why Do I Bleed After Sex
In this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex!
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:
Oral Sex for Women
Guide to Lube
Positions with Props
The clitoris has a hood
The clitoris
Why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Trying something new
Talking with a provider about sex
Episode 81: Sexuality with a philosophical lens
My guest found that her college students had very little understanding of their own bodies and how to navigate sex in a healthy way. Professor Gwendolyn Dolske Ph.D. teaches Philosophy at Cal Poly Pomona. One of her classes, Current Debates in Sexuality, gives her a unique perspective on what young adults are asking about when it comes to sex and relationships. We discuss topics such as consent, current dating culture, and the high alert status women must negotiate to feel safe in the world.
Learn more about Prof Dolske and Good is in the Details
Learn more on these topics:
Why Sex Ed Really Matters
Girls and Sex/Boys and Sex, by Peggy Orenstein
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Understanding Consent and Unlearning Body Shame
episode 80: Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction
People sometimes assume the source of erectile changes in men as they age is a condition called - erectile dysfunction or ED. This is not always the case. In this episode I am discussing some of the normal sexual changes men may experience in midlife and beyond. Listen to learn about normal changes in erections, sexual functioning, and desire for men.
More on these topics
Erectile changes vs. erectile dissatisfaction blog
Cam Fraser: Can Men Be Multi-Orgasmic
Scheduling Sex video blog
Three tips for boosting your arousal
Talking about sexual health with your medical provider
Medication and your sex life
The different ways to experience desire
Partner desire discrepancies
episode 79: Spicy Audio Stories with Gina of Dipsea
As Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a problem to be solved, but a fire to be stoked." You may discover a new tool to spark the flame in this episode.
Use code CINDY for a free month of Dipsea Audio Stories
More on this topic
The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters
Orgasm is a big brain event
Women's Anatomy of Arousal book review
Come As You Are book review
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Fantasy and play in the bedroom
Female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
How desire really works with Dr. Lori Brotto
Your brain and sex
episode 78: Conversation starters to help you talk about sex
with a partner
Most of us didn’t get a lot of education around sex, let alone how to talk about sex with a partner. Just like any new language, sexual conversation is a learnable skill that gets more comfortable with practice. Use the questions and prompts in this episode as conversation starters. Designed to be used with a partner, these are great for date night, weekend walks or on your next long drive together. Learn to talk about sex - one chat at a time.
More on this topic:
Conversation Prompts
Talking with a partner about sex
Sexual communication
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Toys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom
Get out of your foreplay rut
Desire Styles
Partner Desire Discrepancies
Sexify your space
Sensual Play
episode 77: Untangling Sexual Shame
My guest Matthias Roberts, psychotherapist, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms says, “Wherever there is sex, there seems to be shame.” Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. He feels one of the first steps in fighting shame is to practice recognizing it. Together we discuss how to identify our shame, acknowledge our worthiness, and allow ourselves pleasure.
Learn more about Matthias Roberts
episode 76: Perimenopause 101: Treatment options
There are many options available to treat your symptoms during the menopause transition. I continue my conversation with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist about perimenopause. We discuss non-hormonal prescriptions, systemic hormonal therapy, vaginal estrogen, moisturizers, and lubricants for sex. Dr. Shyama also shares how to find qualified menopause clinicians and why we should all ask for a pelvic floor physical therapy referral.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews
More on these topics:
Find a menopause practitioner through NAMS
Midlife & Menopause: Let's Go Girls with Heather
Sexual Reset for Midlife Women
Do you ever think your sex life is broken with Dr. Kelly Casperson
Pain and Sex
Guide to Lube
Pelvic Health
How to talk to a provider about sexual health
episode 75:Perimenopause 101: Hormones and symptoms
Education is key to entering the menopause transition knowledgeable and prepared! In this episode, learn what you need to know about perimenopause with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist. We discuss when changes start, the common symptoms experienced, and what your hormones are doing. Don’t “gut out” the menopause transition, instead feel empowered to advocate for your health.
Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:
Find a menopause practitioner through NAMS
Pain and Sex
Guide to Lube
Pelvic Health
How to talk to a provider about sexual health
episode 74: confidence is sexy
"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have." Dana B. Myers, self-described as a sensually empowered voice for women, joins me to talk about how to embrace your sensuality and sexuality to boost your confidence. Dana and I get practical with tips for sexy talk, sexy texting, and how to communicate your desires. This episode will help you feel more turned on, assertive and engaged with your sensuality for a sexier YOU!
Learn more about Dana B. Myers
More on these topics:
Foreplay using your senses
Ten ways to explore being a sexual person
Make some noise during sex
Get out of your foreplay rut
Talking about sex with a partner
Scheduling sex
Episode 73:Living with chronic pain: A conversation with Ruthie Lindsey
My guest Ruthie Lindsey invites us into the liberating process of unlearning the stories we have been told about our bodies and finding delight in reclaiming pleasure. Having survived a catastrophic accident that left her living in chronic pain, Ruthie shares her journey toward embodied living and the many tools she’s found to help her along the way. Although the pain still visits her, Ruthie has found healing by learning to love and listen to her body. “Love is always inviting us back home to ourselves, to our bodies, and to healing.”
Learn more about Ruthie Lindsey
Learn more about these topics
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Dating Your Body
Unlearning Body Shame and Understanding Consent
Coming Home to Yourself with Arielle Estoria
My Letter to Young Women
Episode 72: Less Faking - More Pleasure
This is the second most downloaded episode of all three seasons! Originally called Pleasure Techniques (Episode 41), I cover two important topics. First, I share the four specific techniques women can use with vaginal penetration to experience more pleasure and potential for orgasm. Then, I talk about how faking orgasms can undermine your pleasure and cause sexual miscommunication with a partner. If you’re new to my listening community, missed it the first time around, or want a refresher, give this quickie a listen.
More on this topic
Pairing demo
Shallowing demo
Rocking demo
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Questions about orgasm
The key to female pleasure
Pleasure techniques
Faking orgasms
Let’s talk orgasms
episode 71: Medications and your sex life
Did you know the medications you take can have an impact on your sex life? Learn about medications known to have sexual health side effects and what those common side effects are. I also offer talking points and my best nurse tip for having a conversation with your healthcare provider about any concerns or inquiries you might have pertaining to your sexual health and the medications you are taking. Get curious and be empowered to ask questions and advocate for your health!
More on this topic
Medications and your sexual health
SSRIs and sex
Talking about sexual health with a healthcare provider
Episode 70: Unlearning Body Shame and Understanding Consent
Join me for a conversation with Abby, a devoted volunteer for our podcast and member of our community. We dive into the challenging waters of unlearning body shame, dismantling beliefs around our bodies and reclaiming sexual health education. Abby shares her experiences of how the pandemic era has shaped new perspectives on bodily autonomy and navigating consent. Learn more about what consent is, what it isn't and how to cultivate discussions around it.
More on this topic:
Dating Your Body
Learning to LIsten to Your Body
Coming Home to Yourself
Evolving Out of Purity Culture
Less Shame - More Sex Ed
Why Sex Ed Really Matters
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
My Letter to Young Woman
Exploring Your Perspective of Pleasure
10 Ways to Be Sexual Without Masturbating
EPISODe 69: Coming Home to Yourself: A Conversation With Arielle Estoria
Do you feel at home in your body? I had the pleasure of talking about our relationship to our bodies with the multitalented Arielle Estoria, an artist, poet, writer, and actor. Her journey of self-discovery and spirituality is beautifully chronicled in her book, The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home to Yourself. Her story is a testament to the transformative impact of embracing one's body for ultimate liberation. Arielle shares the practices that allowed her to release years of self-condemnation and reconnect with her body on her own terms. Tune in and let Arielle inspire you to find home within yourself.
Find out more about Arielle Estoria
More on these topics
Learning to listen to your body
Dating your body
Evolving out of purity culture
My letter to young women
Book review: The Body Is Not An Apology
Book review: Mother's, Daughter's and Body Image
EPISODE 68: TEMPERATURE PLAY
Dabbling with hot and cold sensations can be a tantalizing way to explore erotic sensuality alone or with a partner. Our bodies have so many sensitive erogenous zones that can respond to temperature changes. Play with these simple ideas to create exciting and sexy anticipation for your body and brain as you bring the heat or cool things down.
More on these topics:
Temperature Play Blog
Using Your Senses for Pleasure
Foreplay 101
Maude massage candles (affiliate link: discount code CINDY10)
Pleasurable Touch Exercise
Your Brain's Sexual Accelerator and Brake Video
episode 67: sexual reset for midlife women
Leah Fischer and Cass Redding, founders of Intimate Wellbeing, join me to share their individual journeys of self-discovery and finding sexual pleasure in midlife. Their paths of growth empowered them to team up and create an e-commerce platform for women. They are on a mission to provide tools and resources for enhancing intimacy and pleasure for the midlife woman, all while ending sexual health stigma.
Learn more about Intimate Wellbeing
Use discount code CINDY15
Learn more on these topics:
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Guide to lube
Midlife & Menopause with Heather
Toys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom
Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex
EPISODE 66: TOYS, FANTASY AND PLAY IN THE BEDROOM
Play in the bedroom is highly underrated! Psychologist and sex therapist Carolin Klein joins me to offer tips and answer questions about toys, vibrators, and fantasy. Learn about some common fantasies and less intimidating ways to share what makes your heart race. We talk through a helpful list of dos and don’ts for choosing toys and how to introduce the idea with a partner. Create memorable sexual experiences by bringing more play into the bedroom.
Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing and use code CINDY15
Dr. Carolin Klein is a sex therapist and a Registered Psychologist. She is co-founder and co-director of the West Coast Centre for Sex Therapy in Vancouver, BC.
Learn more about these topics:
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner?
Partner Desire Discrepancies
Want better sex? Ask these questions
Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex
Talking about sex with a partner
When your partner wants to try something new
EPISODE 65: SEX ED FOR ALL ABILITIES
All people, regardless of abilities, are sexual beings, and deserve access to sexual health education. Mad Hatter Wellness creates comprehensive sex ed and health curriculum primarily for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Educator Anna Hayek, their heart of operations, joins me to discuss tools, language and strategies for parents and caregivers.
Learn more about Mad Hatter Wellness
Free resources from Mad Hatter Wellness
People in My Life and Relationship Circle
Heart of Relationships with Healthy & Unhealthy chart
Anna’s Recommended Disability Educators and Activists
Eva Sweeney
Andrew Gurza
Judy Heumann
episode 64: Get out of your foreplay rut
If you want to become a more attentive lover, start with foreplay and pre-foreplay! Meygan Caston of Marriage365 joins me to bring some sweet and spicy ways to cultivate better intimacy in and out of the bedroom. Use these ideas to create sexual tension and excitement as well as emotional safety with your partner. Learn how get out of your foreplay routine, and level up your sexual connection.
Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing and use discount code CINDY15
Learn more about Marriage365
Learn more on these topics
Foreplay Using Your Senses
Oral Sex for Women
Temperature Play
Communication, Couples and Sex
Talking About Sex (when things aren’t great)
Sexify Your Space
Create a Sexy Playlist
Sex and Your Brain
Erogenous Zones Practice
Arousal, Role Play & Condoms
EPISODE 63: ORAL SEX FOR WOMEN
Oral sex is a highly reliable path to orgasm for women. This episode talks about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.
Visit our episode sponsor Lovability and use code CINDY for 10% off
Learn more about these topics
Make Some Noise
Temperature Play
The Key to Women’s Pleasure
The Clitoris - it’s a network!
The Clitoris has a hood
Female Anatomy 101
She Comes First Book Review
Using Your Senses for Pleasure
Why Arousal Takes More Than 5 Minutes
Men and Sex
Talking about sex with a partner
Communication, Couples and Sex
EPISODE 62: Can Men be multi-orgasmic?
Sex coach Cam Fraser returns for part two of our conversation about men and sex. We cover erections, ejaculation, and how men can experience multiple orgasms. Find out Cam's communication tip for women partnered with men, and why men need more permission to explore their bodies for pleasure and fulfilling intimacy.
Learn more about Cam's work
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% off
episode 61: How toxic masculinity can invade your sex life
Cam Fraser, a therapist and licensed sex coach says the script men learn: “Get it up. Get it in. Get it off.” is ruining sex lives. He shares his story and the ways he learned to reframe his own approach to pleasure. We discuss the sex ed men and their partners need to get out of the box that says sex has to look a certain way and to move toward more fulfilling intimacy.
Learn more about Cam
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics:
Guide to Lube
Desire Styles
Boys & Sex Book Review
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction
episode 60: Do you ever think your sex life is broken?
Have you ever felt broken when it comes to your sex life? Urologist and sex expert Kelly Casperson, MD joins me to talk about her book You’re Not Broken: Stop “Should-ing” All Over Your Sex Life. We discuss what bad sex looks like, why sometimes ‘good enough’ sex is fantastic and how self-cultivation enhances your sexual health. I also asked Dr. Casperson her top tips for preventing UTIs (find them at 27:53).
Learn more about Dr. Kelly Casperson
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics
Book review: The Body is Not an Apology
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Date Your Body
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner (Desire styles)
Guide to lube
episode 59: Why is it easier to orgasm by myself?
Answering your orgasm questions in this episode, including: Are all orgasms the same? Is it normal for some orgasms to be more intense than others? My orgasms have changed as I’ve gotten older, am I normal? Why is it so much easier for me to orgasm by myself, than with a partner? Can I orgasm from stimulation to my clitoral hood? What can I do to make orgasm easier?
More on this topic:
How can I orgasm easier?
Let’s Talk Orgasms
The Key to Female Pleasure
Clitoral Hood
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Edging
Why Vibrators Work For Women
Pelvic Floor Health
Medications and your sexual health
SSRI's and your sex life
Talking with a provider about sexual health
episode 58: orgasm is a big brain event
Your brain is wired for pleasure! My conversation with Dr. Nan Wise continues as she shares her research about how your brain benefits from orgasm and pleasure and how even thinking about pleasurable stimulation lights up your brain like a Christmas tree! As she emphatically says, “Orgasm is a big brain event!” She also teaches how to lay down pleasure pathways to help those who find it difficult to orgasm. Learn about your brain-body connections and how the more you pay attention to the sensations you feel, the more you can dial them up for more pleasure.
Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more on these topics:
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Natural health benefits of orgasm
The sexual accelerator and brake in the brain
Sex on the brain
episode 57: The Pleasure crisis - why good sex matters
Our society has a love/hate relationship with pleasure. More people than ever are experiencing anhedonia, the reduced ability to experience pleasure. Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscience researcher, certified sex therapist and author of Why Good Sex Matters, joins me to discuss why pleasure is a necessity for a balanced emotional brain. She walks us through the seven core emotional systems that give us feedback about what feels good and what is good for us. Dr. Nan expounds on how our brain is the command center for sex and a generator of pleasure. Learn more about your wired-in pleasure system and why good sex matters.
Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics:
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Dating Your Body
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Sex on the Brain
Episode 56: Shifting the Fertility narrative from me to we
WeNatal caught my attention with their holistic approach to fertility. Instead of the usual focus on me - the woman, they widen it to we - and include the partner. They bring men into the fertility equation. Founders Vida Delrahim and Ronit Menashe join me to talk about the importance of preconception care, healthy practices, gratitude and a more well rounded focus for couples in the fertility season. They share their story of miscarriage, friendship and the community they are building to support families on the fertility journey.
Learn more about WeNatal
WeNatal free preconception guide
Learn more about these topics
Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding
Sex and Pregnancy
Intimacy During Infertility or After Miscarriage
Tips for a Better Bedroom
Sex after baby
episode 55: Positions with props
As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new with Lifted Missionary, Chair Sex or Sex with Heels. Get a little creative with these positions for more fun, comfort and erotic pleasure.
Learn more about these topics:
Pleasure Techniques Ep. 41
Pleasure Techniques on the Blog
G-spot
The Clitoris - It's a Whole Network
Sex on the Brain
Foreplay Ideas
Ten Tips to Sexify Your Bedroom
When Your Partner Wants to Try Something New
EPISODE 54: The growing mental health crisis of our girls
I am determined to keep the growing mental health crisis among young women in front of our community. Our girls are struggling more than boys. Why? Did you know that 1 out of every 4 teen girls has symptoms of major depression? This is compared with fewer than 1 in 10 boys. Girls are also twice as likely as boys to suffer from anxiety. We have a crisis on our hands. Award-winning journalist, Donna Jackson Nakazawa, joins me to discuss the topic. We talk about how the toxic stressors of social media and our culture are uniquely affecting girls' mental health. We share action steps from Donna’s book, Girls on the Brink, that you can use to help the girl in your life thrive - not just survive!
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is the author of Girls on the Brink as well as four books that explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion, including The Angel and the Assassin and Childhood Disrupted.
Learn more about these topics
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Book Review: Girls and Sex, Boys and Sex
Book Review: Mothers Daughters and Body Image
Book Review: The Body Is Not An Apology
Blog: Parent-Child Journal
Coloring Book For Girls
EPISODE 53: misconceptions men believe about sex
I invited Sheila Gregoire back to break down what women actually want from their male partners in bed. Sharing excerpts from her book, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, we debunk myths about the magic penis, mental load, foreplay, female arousal, and orgasm. Learn some practical ideas for increased pleasure and better sex!
Visit our episode sponsor MANSCAPED and use code PERMISSION for 20% off and free shipping
Learn more about Sheila's work
More on these topics:
Ep 29 on arousal with Sheila
Sexual Scripts
Mental Load
Foreplay
Female Arousal
The Clitoris
Pleasure Techniques
Questions about orgasm
Mindfulness
Pleasure practice
episode 52: Welcome to Season Three!
Whether you are a new listener, or have been here since the beginning - thank you for being part of this community. On this podcast we have conversations about sexual health and pleasure. Episodes include everything from interviews with experts to hearing from members of this community. This show is constantly evolving as I prioritize the topics you most want to hear about. My hope is that this community will help you to open healthy conversations and give yourself permission for pleasure.
EPISODE 51: EXPLORING EROGENOUS ZONES
Exploring our erogenous zones is something to do often. We are wrapping up season two on the podcast by revisiting one of my favorite pleasure practices. This touch exercise is a wonderful way to connect with your body and your partner's. We change, and so do our bodies, which means our erogenous zones can as well. Learn ways to communicate where you enjoy being touched, as well as what kind of touch feels good. Explore each other's bodies with this guided touch exercise.
Learn more about these topics
Pleasurable Touch Practice
Massage Candles by Maude (use code CINDY10 for discount)
Episode 50: Sexual communication
Talking about sex is a skill strengthened through practice. In this quickie episode, I’m offering some helpful tips and conversation prompts to get you started. Listen solo or with your partner to learn practical ways to boost your sexual communication. Topics include: sexual frequency, reasons you want to have sex, scheduling sexy dates, being honest about what you no longer enjoy, and trying new things.
Visit our episode sponsor Sexfirmation Cards and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics
Talking with a partner about sex
When your partner wants to try something new
Sexify your space on the podcast
Ten tips for a better bedroom blog
Episode 35 with Dr. Jac Sherman
Communication, couples and sex
Talking about sex (when things aren't great)
Scheduling sex
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Why don't I want sex as much as my partner
episode 49: Evolving out of purity culture
It is always a delight when a member of our community comes on the show to share their story. Brit "Beans" Barron is a teacher, speaker and author of Worth It. She joins me for a conversation about her journey evolving out of purity culture. We discuss her work to unpack shame, unravel the purity narrative and embrace her sexuality as a queer woman.
Learn more about these topics:
My letter to young women
Less Shame - More Sex Ed
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Let's Go Girls: Hailey from Pasadena
EPISODE 48: How To Build A Sex Room - Taylor’s Journey
You met the delightful Taylor Stonack if you watched episode one of Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room. Whether you've seen the show or not, you’ll be drawn into her journey which she shares with both laughter and tears. She joins me for a conversation about her experience on the show, how she became interested in kink, and what she learned about herself. She shares a few un-aired moments including a scene that brought back her past experience of sexual trauma. Through the outpouring of care and solid consent language, this resulted in a beautiful healing moment for her during the show’s creation. According to Taylor, “It started out as a room but it turned into more than that.”
Taylor Stonack appeared on the first season of Netflix's How To Build A Sex Room, and her mission is to create a safe space for people to talk about their wants and desires in every aspect of their life. She owns the Social Media Marketing Agency - Sweet Potato Social.
Visit our episode sponsor Reclaiming Pleasure with Dr. Holly Richmond
Learn more about these topics
Sexify Your Bedroom
Pleasure After Trauma Episode
Reclaiming Pleasure Book Review
Supporting Survivors
Arousal, Role Play and Condoms
EPISODE 47: SEXY IN SURVIVAL MODE
How in the world can a new mom feel sexy in survival mode? Journalist Simone Boyce flips the script to interview me about life and intimacy after childbirth. I answer her questions about the six-week mark, re-examining pleasure, code switching out of "mommy mode," and the reality of feeling touched out. You’ll learn my tips for intimacy without the pressure and ways to embrace outercourse (or as Simone says, “things you can do on the outside without ever having to go in the house!”). We talk about it all in this episode!
Simone Boyce is a nationally recognized journalist, host and speaker whose work has been featured on MSNBC, the Today Show, Access Hollywood and more. Sign up for her newsletter Motherload.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics
Sex After Baby
All About Lube
Your Body After Baby
Sex and Pregnancy
Sex, Postpartum, and Breastfeeding
Myth Busting with UC
Pain and Sex
Stretched-Out Vaginas and Other Myths
Mental Load
Mindfulness and the Truth About Desire
Better Sex Through Mindfulness book review
The 6 second kiss from the Gottman Institute
EPISODE 46: SEXIFY YOUR SPACE: TIPS FOR A BETTER BEDROOM
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all build ourselves a whole room dedicated to sex and intimacy? For most of us, that’s not a reality. However we can make changes to sexify the space we do have! In this quickie episode, you’ll hear my ten tips to create a more sensual and inviting atmosphere in your bedroom. Research shows that those with the most enjoyable sex life, set up their environment for sex with intention. Choose from - moody lighting, mirrors, props, privacy and more - to level up your bedroom for better sex.
Learn more about these topics
EPISODE 45: LESS SHAME - MORE SEX ED
Alex Liu, a health reporter and director of the documentary; A Sexplanation joins me for a conversation about why we need comprehensive sex ed. We talk about his experience growing up as a young gay man, the sexual silence and shame that almost destroyed him, and how he found freedom and belonging by going on a quest for the sex education he never got. We agree that there are a lot of questions about sex that are “unasked, unspoken and unanswered!” This episode will encourage individuals, partners and parents to ask, speak and answer those questions.
Learn more about Alex and A Sexplanation
Learn more about these topics
Why Sex Ed Really Matters with guest Kristen Mark
My letter to parents: You can be your child's sexual health educator
Conversations Starters for Parenting Partners
Childhood sexual abuse prevention: 2 tools for parents
Help! My child is starting sex ed at school
EPISODE 44: SEX, POSTPARTUM AND BREASTFEEDING
Colleen Weeks and I continue our conversation and discuss the challenges and changes in the fourth trimester, the time period after birthing a baby. Topics include hormone changes, the 6-weeks suggested for healing, why you may need lubrication for sex, and how fatigue affects sexual arousal. We also dive into breastfeeding to answer some common questions, such as does breastfeeding work as birth control, and why milk leaks or spurts with sex. You’ll hear thoughts on parenting roles, the mental load and communication strategies between partners to help you navigate this often-overwhelming season of change.
For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.
Learn more about these topics
Lube. Lube. Lube
Pain and Sex
Sex After Baby
What Pelvic Health Has To Do With Painful Sex
Stretched-out Vaginas and Other Myths
Your Body After Baby
Mental Load
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Scheduling Sex
EPISODE 43: SEX AND PREGNANCY
My long time colleague and friend Colleen Weeks joins me to talk about all things pregnancy. This episode is your private in-home education class! You'll hear information every person needs to know about hormones, sex in pregnancy, partner concerns, and all the changes a body goes through to grow and birth a whole human. One of the biggest changes Colleen has witnessed over the years, is the increasing lack of trust women have in their bodies and how they function. Our hope is that this conversation will you help you gain confidence to trust your body in pregnancy, and all the seasons of your life.
*Don’t miss our next episode - Part Two: Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding
For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.
Learn more about these topics
Sex After Baby
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Taking your Body on a Date
Your Body After Baby
CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
EPISODE 42: LEARNING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY
Dr. Hillary McBride joins me for a conversation about embodiment or as she defines it, “Our experience of being a body as it’s shaped by culture.” She provides tools to help us untangle the cultural scripts we have taken in, along with gentle guidance for how we can reframe and choose a healthier way to be in our body. You’ll hear how you can learn to listen to your body, embrace your sensuality and give yourself more permission for pleasure.
Dr. Hillary McBride is a registered psychologist, a researcher, and podcaster. She is the author of: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are and The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding wholeness, healing and connection through embodied living. She was the senior editor of the textbook Embodiment and Eating Disorders: Theory, Research, Prevention, and Treatment. www.Hillarylmcbride.com
Learn more about these topics:
episode 41: Pleasure techniques
Listen in to learn four techniques women use to increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. OMGyes, in partnership with Indiana University School of Medicine, conducted a nationally representative study of over 3000 women and I share their results in this episode. Hear about shallowing, pairing, rocking, and angling - along with practical tips for each one. I also discuss how faking orgasm can undermine your pleasure and give conversation starters to open a discussion about it with a partner.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics:
Pairing demo Shallowing demo Rocking demo
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Questions about orgasm
The key to female pleasure
Maude use code CINDY10
Dame
OMGyes
Communication, Couples & Sex
Talking with a partner about sex
Talking About Sex (When Things Aren't Great)
EPISODE 40: WANT BETTER SEX? ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
Have you and your partner experienced conflict over mismatched sexual desire or frequency? Have you ever asked yourself: why sex matters to you? Cyndi Darnell joins me to talk about the healthy questions to ask yourself for better sexual self-understanding - which can lead to better sex! Learn the truth about mismatched sexual desire, the problems that result when couples equate frequency with quality, and ideas for creating a more satisfying sex life.
Cyndi Darnell is a clinical and somatic sexologist and author of Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Rediscovering Desire. Learn more about Cyndi’s work https://cyndidarnell.com/
Learn more about these topics:
Understanding Your Desire Style For Better Sex
Partner Sexual Desire Discrepancies
Sexual Scripts
Episode 39: Why We need To tAlk ABout Pornography - Part 1
Therapist Sam Tielemans joins me to discuss why we need to talk about pornography, not only in our relationships but also with our kids. Part one of this conversation includes: information about unhealthy usage of pornography and that it usually isn’t about sex, what the average age of a child’s exposure is to porn (5:21) and how lies and deception break the attachment bond which may possibly cause betrayal trauma (8:25). We share how to navigate the discussion with a partner, as well as offering prompts to get you started (16:20).
Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy. Learn more about Sam's work: Coupleshealing.org
Episode 39: Why we need to talk about pornography - Part 2
Therapist Sam Tielemans and I continue the conversation about pornography and specifically how it can affect relationships. We discuss the feelings women often experience when they discover their partner uses porn and why dealing with this issue alone is so difficult. Then we offer practical ways for couples to get started communicating as well as ideas for moving toward healing.
Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy. Learn more about Sam's work: Coupleshealing.org
Episode 38: LET’S GO GIRLS: JESSICA FROM NEW YORK
Jessica Lorion experienced a debilitating autoimmune disease that impacted her body image, intimacy, and relationship. It also detoured her desire to start a family. We talk together about her health and relationship journey, her positive pivot of starting a community, and our shared passion of supporting pregnant women and aspiring moms on their journey into motherhood.
Learn more about Mamas in Training
Listen to Sex and Pregnancy
Listen to Sex and Postpartum
ASK A QUESTION: 1-714-455-9149
Episode 37: COMMUNITY QUESTIONS: AROUSAL, ROLE PLAY, & CONDOMS
In this episode I’m answering your community questions. One woman wants to know why arousal takes so long, if it’s normal and tips to help (0:55). Another listener asks about how to start role play in the bedroom without feeling awkward (3:57). Then I offer some sexy tips for a couple that says putting on a condom is ruining their mood (8:30).
Learn more about these topics:
The Key to Female Pleasure
When my partner wants to try something new
CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Episode 36: Stretched-out vaginas and other myths
Have you heard your vagina stretches out if you have a lot of sex? Or that kegels are the answer to all your pelvic floor issues? How about the one that a vaginal delivery ruins your sex life? Heather Jeffcoat returns to the podcast for a round of true or false about common sexual health myths. We also offer advice for first intercourse; dilator use and period problems. In this episode you’ll learn the facts to help you advocate for your sexual health.
Heather Jeffcoat, DPT is a recognized expert in the field of improving women’s health through physical therapy and President of The Academy of Pelvic Health Physical Therapy.
Learn more about Heather’s work here: www.fusionwellnesspt.com
Visit our episode sponsor Soul Source and use code CINDY15 for 15% of dilators
Learn More About These Topics
Vibrators
Pain & Sex
Lube
Sex Without Pain Book
Body After Baby
Sex After Baby
Talking With a Provider About Sexual Health
episode 35: Finding Intimacy during infertility or after miscarriage
Miscarriage or infertility is often the first medical crisis young couples face and finding intimacy through these times can pose some unique challenges. Dr. Jacqueline Sherman shares her personal story as well as specific ideas to help couples navigate the journey. You'll learn ways to connect with your feelings, your partner, and tips to reframe your sex life for more intimacy and connection.
Dr. Jacqueline Sherman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Intimacy and Relationship Coach. www.drjac.co
Learn more about these topics
Mindfulness
Book Review: Better Sex Through Mindfulness
Talking with a partner about sex
Pleasurable Touch Practice
EPISODE 34: TALKING ABOUT SEX (WHEN THINGS AREN’T GREAT) PART ONE
When things aren’t going so great in the bedroom, communication may be what you need to turn things around. Research shows that talking about sex is one of the strongest predictors of sexual satisfaction. In this episode, Meygan Caston joins us as our first repeat guest on the podcast. This time, she shares the story of how she learned to talk about sex with her partner, and offers us the communication tips and strategies she gathered as they transformed their sex life from really bad - to really good.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex
EPISODE 34: TALKING ABOUT SEX (WHEN THINGS AREN’T GREAT) PART TWO
It can feel uncomfortable asking for what you want in bed. The good news is that talking with a partner about sex is a skill you can learn. In this episode, our conversation with Meygan Caston continues as she shares how communication saved her sex life. In part two, she takes things to the next level by asking for a ‘pleasure gift’ on her 10-year wedding anniversary. You’ll hear more of her tips and strategies for talking about sex with a partner, and will be encouraged to give yourself permission for pleasure.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex
EPISODE 33: FOREPLAY 101
Foreplay should be all day! I like to think of foreplay as connection building activities rather than just a lead up to sex. Connection certainly doesn't start in the bedroom. Foreplay can be tender, playful, and erotic. In this quickie episode, I offer some specific ideas to intentionally use each of your senses to increase pleasure and get creative with connection. It is said that variety is the spice of life, so let's get curious, have fun, and get spicy!
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and receive 15% off with code CINDY
Learn more about these topics:
EPISODE 32: SUPPORTING SURVIVORS
Dr. Rossana Sida joins me for a conversation about her work with survivors and those who care for them. We discuss common challenges of recovery, options for those seeking help, language to use with recovering partners, and navigating ongoing consent. You are never alone in the continuing work of healing and recovery. Whether you are a survivor, in a relationship with one, or desire to understand how to best care for someone else, you’ll find some tools here for healing and hope.
Dr. Rossana Sida is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in sex and relationships with a special interest in the intersection of female sexuality and sexual abuse.
Learn more about Rossana’s work:
www.togethernesstherapy.com
Learn more about these topics
Pleasure after trauma
Our bodies and trauma
Painful Sex
Episode 31: Commmunity questions: vibrators, edging & Anal sex
In this episode, I talk with Dr. Shannon Chavez. We explore the importance of curiosity, consent, and communication, and then we unpack a few topics from my community question box about vibrators, edging, and anal sex.
Edging tips for slowing things down and building arousal.
Vibrators -why they work for women and healthy practices
Anal sex: yes or no? Basics about consent, lube and safety.
Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California.
Learn more about Shannon’s work:
Drshannonchavez.com
Learn more about these topics
Edging
Vibrators
Lube
episode 30: Let’s go girls: Heather from the south bay
My dear friend Heather joins me for an episode in our “Let’s Go Girls” series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. We discuss the facts, challenges and freedom of midlife and menopause. Join us to learn, laugh, get prepared and feel less alone in whatever stage of womanhood you find yourself.
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code: Pleasure
Learn more about these topics:
Sex and Pain
Lube
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction
Episode 29: RECLAIM YOUR AROUSAL MINDSET
Sheila Wray Gregoire and her team conducted a study of 20,000 women to determine what makes sex great for some and less satisfying for others, along with rates of sexual pain. In this episode we discuss what these women had to say and find out how significant cultural narratives are on our desire styles and arousal as women. What started out as a chat about female arousal, quickly turned into a thought-provoking conversation around how our mindset impacts female arousal. Let’s all start asking Sheila’s question: “What wants to be touched right now?”
Learn more about Sheila's work:
ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com
Learn more about these topics:
Pain and Sex
Desire Styles
The Key To Female Pleasure
Mental Load
Listening to Your Body
EPISODE 28: SEX ON THE BRAIN
Did you know your brain is your most important sex organ?! This quickie episode is an introduction to the roll your brain plays in sexual response. There is a two-part system, an accelerator and a brake. A lot of people think there might be something wrong with their ON or accelerator, but most often the issues are with your OFF or brake. Listen and learn about questions to ask yourself that will help you to investigate what might be turning you ON or OFF.
EPISODE 27: THE TRUTH ABOUT DESIRE (PART ONE)
Do you want to know how sexual desire actually works and how to cultivate it? Dr. Lori Brotto shares the research-based truth about desire in this two-part episode. Part One includes the causes of low desire, and the things that affect it. If you thought it was all about the hormones, Brotto says, “Mood, sense of well-being, body image, self-esteem, and how a woman feels about her partner turned out to be far stronger predictors of her level of sexual desire than a single hormone.” What you hear in this conversation might literally transform your sex life!
Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.
EPISODE 27: THE TRUTH ABOUT DESIRE (PART TWO)
“Attention training through mindfulness may be part of the recipe for cooking up sexual desire.” Dr. Lori Brotto and I continue our conversation about desire. Part Two gets practical, providing helpful tools to cultivate desire. Our discussion includes: the power of attention training and mindfulness, why sexual communication is essential, and the value of variety in encouraging arousal and desire in women.
Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.
Episode 26: Why sex ed really matters
Silence is the enemy of sexual health education and most people go through life experiencing this silence. Join Dr. Kristen Mark and I for a discussion about why sex education really matters for our children, for adults, and for all of us throughout our lifespan. We can never truly have enough education about sexuality because we are constantly changing, as are our bodies and relationships. You’ll hear what the data shows about comprehensive sex education, how couples can navigate sexual difficulties, and the importance of pleasure as part of the conversation!
Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH, CSE is the Joycelyn Elders endowed chair in sexual health education and tenured professor at the Institute for Sexual and Gender Health in the University of Minnesota Medical School.
www.kristenmark.com
theabstinenceproject.com
Episode 25: welcome to season two
Welcome 2022 and Season Two! This podcast is designed to help women express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. We’ll be having more rich conversations with experts, plenty of sexual health education, and a whole lot of learning how to talk about sex. This community is a place where you will hear good education, gain confidence, and be prompted to open your own conversations about all things sexual health. Cheers to giving ourselves permission for pleasure!
EPISODE 24: THE BIG O REMIX: BONUS EPISODE
A bonus episode all about orgasms! We have combined a few highlights of the many conversations we have had about the Big O in Season One. From faking them to ranking them, this remix is full of facts and healthy reframes for learning to experience more pleasure. Thank you for being a part of this podcast community, and please follow the show on your favorite listening platform. Cheers to the New Year and giving yourself more permission for pleasure!
Episodes 1, 2, 9, 11 & 19
Featured Guests:
Dr. Laurie Mintz - Episode 2 (3:39)
Dr. Erica Marchand - Episode 9 (5:14)
Dr. Uchenna Ossai Episode 11 (9:11)
Episode 23: QUickies & Kisses
Just in time for holiday season, here is a quickie episode about sex and connection when you’re short on time. Listen for some reasons why quickies can be a valuable part of your sexy lineup, and a few ideas to try. Now, about those kisses. Are you hungry for kisses that mean something? Kisses that are more than a mere gesture? Here’s my thoughts on kisses that move you toward connection, the savoring kind!
episode 22: Love Languages, Dates & Gift IDEAS
My daughter joins me for this holiday episode where we discuss the 5 Love Languages, some tools for emotional connection and several gift ideas. I share a few of my marriage mantras and three sexy date suggestions for couples. Click the link below to take the 2 minute survey I created for your give feedback about the podcast!
Take the SURVEY
Newsletter
Marriage365 use code PLEASUREPODCAST25
* Dame use code CINDY10
* Ohnut use code CINDY
* I may earn money from purchases on these links.
episode 21: Pleasure after trauma
Dr. Holly Richmond says, “Your sexual trauma doesn’t inform your sexuality; it misinforms it.” Join us for a compassionate discussion about recovery, healing and pleasure after sexual trauma. Holly and I discuss her research based insights about control, pleasure, and connection for thriving. This conversation centers on practices and hopeful guidance for survivors and those who love them. And because healing and recovery is not a solitary process, there is advice here for all of us.
My review of Holly’s book HERE
For 10% of Holly’s online course: Reclaiming Pleasure, use my affiliate link HERE
Dr. Holly Richmond is a Somatic Psychotherapist, LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist. Her book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life, is an innovative look at both somatic and psychological factors in survivors’ erotic recovery. www.drhollyrichmond.com
Episode 20: Relieving mental load
The Mental Load is the running to do list that we carry around in our minds. Although it is often invisible, it has a big impact on our relationship, our sexual desire and our stress level.
Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me for a discussion about what the Mental Load looks like in our everyday lives and how couples can manage it together. You’ll hear lots of communication starters and very practical tips to help you ‘off-load’ and free up mental space for a healthier relationship and a healthier YOU!
Morgan Cutlip, Ph.D., is a wife, mom, and life-long lover of all things relationships. She develops online relationship courses and resources at Love Thinks and manages the blog at www.mylovethinks.com.
Episode 19: G marks the spot
This quickie episode answers commonly asked questions about the G-spot. You’ll learn if there really is a spot, how to find yours, and the best ways to stimulate this potential erogenous zone. I also talk about how and why women vary in regards to pleasure experienced with this area, as well as the importance of arousal in the process.
EPISODE 18: YOUR BODY AFTER BABY
Wendy Powell, founder of MUTU, joins me for an honest and hopeful conversation about women’s bodies after babies. We talk about sex, exercise, and all the challenges women may face after carrying and birthing a whole human. The truth is that while many physical issues are common, this does not make them normal! We discuss the difference and how you can move toward a healthier body. Whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 16 years old, this episode is for you! You’ll hear real talk, practical advice and encouragement for you and your body.
Wendy Powell is a globally recognized leader and pioneer in the women’s pelvic health industry. She is the Founder and CEO of MUTU, a medically recommended digital health tech platform for mothers worldwide.
www.mutusystem.com
EPISODE 17: DATING YOUR BODY
In this episode, Aurora Allen introduces us to the concept of “Taking our body out for a date." We talk about just how important it is to listen to our bodies. She shares profoundly simple practices to help us move toward more grounded, connected, and embodied lives. If you want to tap into your sensuality, learn how to listen and reconnect to your body, or investigate changing the negative narrative around your body - this nourishing episode is for you.
Aurora Allen, M.A, RYTP-500, is a somatic and embodiment coach and certified yoga instructor.
www.wellalignedwoman.com
Radicalwellness.co
episode 16: Let’s go girls: maddie from london
This is the second episode in our special series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Maddie, from London, joins me for a conversation about demisexuality and the importance of not shying away from what makes us different. We also talk about communication, embodiment, and the practice of noticing and valuing your body and how things make you feel physically. This discussion gave me goosebumps, the good kind!
Find Maddie
EPISODE 15: PRACTICING FLOW STATE SEX
How do we make good sex … great? Dr. Emily Jamea joins me to talk about specific tools for optimal sexual experiences and what the research shows works! We discuss finding your sexual flow for higher sexual satisfaction, sensuality and eroticism in long term relationships and the importance of curiosity and practice for developing and maintaining a vibrant sex life worth wanting!
Emily Jamea, PhD, LMFT, LPC is a sex and relationship therapist, researcher, and author. In addition to running her Houston-based private therapy practice, REVIVE therapy & healing, she offers online workshops, conducts academic research on optimal sexual experiences, and serves as an expert speaker for both public and private events.
episode 14: Yay for 5K! Surprise pleasure exercise
I am celebrating our growing community with this surprise episode! Yay for 5K downloads! This pleasure exercise will guide you through focused and intentional touch. I hope it’s nourishing for you. Thank you for listening, following and sharing the podcast. Cheers to giving yourself more permission for pleasure!
EPISODE 13: SEXUAL SCRIPTS
What is a sexual script? Simply put, they are guidelines and shoulds that we have taken in, which shape and influence our expectations and behaviors about sex. Aoife Drury, a Dublin psychotherapist, joins me for a conversation about common sexual scripts and how they become woven into our sexuality.
We discuss where they come from, what they sound like in our thoughts and how to rewrite the narrative. As Aoife says, “Recognize that you have a pen, and you write the rest of your book as you see fit.
Aoife Drury is an Accredited Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist and is currently carrying out a Doctorate in Psychotherapy. She is passionate about debunking mental health stigmas and creating a safe environment to talk about sexual health challenges.
www.drurytherapy.com
episode 12: lube lube lube
What have you heard about sex and lube? That lube is just for “old ladies?” That “getting wet” is the indicator of arousal and desire? This quickie episode covers the facts about lubrication, female arousal, types of lube and recommendations to try. Learn why couples say adding lube into their sex life is a “Game Changer!”
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and receive 15% off with code CINDY
episode 11: myth-busting (part two)
Dr. Uchenna Ossai and I continue our conversation about common myths people believe about sexual health. In part two we discuss simultaneous orgasms with a partner, what low libido is and isn’t, female sexual dysfunction, and pornography. This myth-busters episode offers facts and alternatives to reframe and nourish your healthy sexuality.
Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School and pelvic health program manager at UT Health Austin.
Youseelogic.com
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code Pleasure.
episode 11: Myth-busting (part one)
Dr. Uchenna Ossai joins me for a thoughtful discussion busting some of the common myths people believe about sexual health. In part one we talk about orgasms, pleasure, foundational sexual beliefs, our mind and sex, and orgasming alone vs partnered. After hearing this episode, one listener said, “This was like a free therapy session - anyone could have some really excellent takeaways from this conversation!”
Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School and pelvic health program manager at UT Health Austin.
Youseelogic.com
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code Pleasure.
Episode 10: Let’s go girls: Hailey from pasadena
This is a Special Episode, where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women hear about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Hailey from Pasadena is my first guest and we talk about curiosity, consent, and both the silence and common narratives that many women take in who grow up in a conservative community.
EPISODE 9: LET’S TALK ORGASMS
Dr. Erica Marchand joins me for a conversation about female orgasms and pleasure. Are orgasms a learnable skill? What are the components necessary for orgasm? Do orgasms really look like we see in the media? Dr. Erica and I answer these questions as well as why women fake them, do we need to rank them, and more about the Big O.
Erica Marchand, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles and the creator of the Big O Masterclass, an online course that uses sex therapy principles to help women learn to have orgasms, by themselves or with a partner, from the privacy of home.
Web: hertherapysecrets.com
Instagram: @hertherapysecrets
Facebook: Dr. Erica Marchand
EPISODE 8: What Pelvic Health Has To Do With Painful Sex
Dr. Heather Jeffcoat joins me for an in depth conversation about all things pelvic health, specifically causes and treatment options for painful sex. You might want to have a pen and paper handy as we cover many topics, including: causes of pain, what pelvic floor physical therapy is and how it can help, dilators, sex & exercise after a baby, and how to do a kegel correctly.
Heather Jeffcoat DPT is the founder of Fusion Wellness & Femina Physical Therapy, and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve.
Receive 20% off a PDF download of Heather’s book at SexWithoutPainBook.com using code PLEASURE20.
Visit our episode sponsor: OHNUT and receive 15% off your order with code CINDY
episode 7: pain and sex
Painful sex is not normal, yet according to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 3 out of 4 women do experience pain during intercourse at some point during their lives. This quickie episode covers the 3 key things to consider if you are experiencing painful penetration at any point in your life. Essential education for every woman to know today or for the future.
EPISODE 6: COMMUNICATION, COUPLES AND SEX (PART TWO)
My discussion with Meygan Caston, co-founder of Marriage365, continues with more tips and prompts for couples learning to talk about sex. In part two we dive into: how to handle when one partner is not in the mood, introducing something new, when one partner is vanilla and the other is 31 flavors, and foreplay with words! Meygan shares her personal vibrator story and offers connecting questions to help get you started with your own healthy conversations.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365
www.marriage365.com
EPISODE 6: Communication, Couples and Sex (Part One)
Talking about sex with a partner can feel awkward and scary. Shame, fearing rejection and hurt feelings - these can be huge roadblocks to honest communication in this area of a relationship. Meygan Caston, co-founder of Marriage365, joins me for a discussion packed with practical communication tips, ways to break down barriers and conversation starters galore.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
Episode 5: A Mother/Daughter Interview: Healthy Conversations About Sex
This episode gets personal as my oldest daughter interviews me around healthy conversations about sex. We chat about how I talked with my own daughters about sexual health, tips for parents, developing your own sexual relationship, and discussion prompts for partners. This intimate interview will offer you some useful tools to start your own healthy conversations.
Episode 4: Partner Sexual Desire Discrepancies
If you experience conflict in your relationship over sexual desire, you’re not alone. According to my guest expert Leslie Gustafson, every couple has a difference in sexual desire! Do men and women experience desire differently? Are we really supposed to just feel sexual desire? How can couples work through this issue in a healthy way? This conversation answers these questions and more.
Leslie Gustafson, LMFT, and AASECT CST is a Sex, Women’s & Marriage Master Coach who’s heart and mission is to “Unleash Women & Couples into Empowered Lives, Lasting Love and Amazing Intimacy.” She provides personal coaching through her transformational programs -Get Your Dream Marriage and Amazing You! Women’s Program. Host of The Smart Sex Podcast, you can find her on IG @LeslieGustafson1
Episode 3: Understanding Your Desire Style For Better Sex
The truth about desire is that there is more than one way to experience it. Sexual desire works a lot like curiosity. Think of it like this: What has to happen for you to be motivated to have sex? Learn about the different desire styles, and why it’s normal for you and your partner to experience desire differently.
Episode 2: Cliteracy
Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, joins Cindy for a discussion about female pleasure, cliteracy and the orgasm gap. Why are women having fewer orgasms than men? What do women really need to experience more pleasure? This conversation provides the education and tools to get you started on the journey to orgasm equality.
Dr. Mintz is a feminist professor, author, speaker and therapist. You can learn more about her at www.drlauriemintz.com, or watch her TEDx talk. Her latest book is: Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It.
Episode 1: The Key To Female Pleasure
Cindy walks you through the amazing anatomy of the clitoris. There is so much more than you can see on the surface. Learn about the 6,000 to 8,000 nerve endings, all the erectile tissue, and why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes. The truth about the clitoris? It is a whole network and the key to female pleasure.
Pilot: WELCOME TO PERMISSION FOR PLEASURE
Welcome to a new community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Cindy invites you to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. Subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode!