When it comes to shower sex: “slippery when wet” applies to both caution and pleasure. Some people love sex in the shower for its easy clean up, the wet environment, heightened sensations, or for period sex. Some don’t love it - being in a cramped or confined area, awkward positioning or feeling unstable in the slippery space.

If you're someone who’s never tried it, but is curious. Or, even if you tried it in the past and it didn’t go so well, I want to share a few tips and ideas. With a little planning and some adjustments along the way, the shower can be a great space to turn up the steam.

My primary tip: Focus on pleasure not orgasms!

The shower is the perfect place to focus on sensuality and lean into the added sensations of water, steam, and soapy scents. Let orgasms take the back burner as you lean into pleasure and what feels good.

Create the environment before you step in

Make it a planned event and send each other shower/soap/water texts with no other words to set up the appointed time
Start slowly by undressing each other or making out while the water temp warms up
Keep it warm. You’ve heard the phrase “Take a cold shower” when people want to cool off their arousal right? Do the opposite!
Use an essential oil or a special body wash that’s only for shower time together
Add to the water sounds by turning on your sexy playlist
Put a towel on the shower floor or use a non-slip bath mat to keep footing secure
Don’t forget the lube! Silicone lube works great in water
Don’t forget to lock the door!

Variations and Ideas

Start with kissing. Just kissing. When was the last time you made out? Or made out in the falling water? Soap each other up for the sheer fun of touching each other - it doesn’t have to lead to orgasm, penetration or anything but pleasure!
Try no kissing: Use only your hands to touch each other
Try no hands: Use only your mouths
Try mutual masturbation. Watching each other can not only be hot - but educational. Pay attention! You’ll likely learn something about how your partner likes to be touched and what brings them pleasure
Bring a water proof toy into the shower
If you have a detachable shower head - use it! That’s a built- in sensory accessory
Bring in some simple power dynamics by taking turns “being in charge.” Take turns telling each other what to do and where to touch
Reference my pleasure practice to discover new erogenous zones using wet and slippery touch
Shower together as foreplay/arousal/warming up time. You have the option to take it out of the shower to continue if you’re both wanting to take it further

Positions and Stabilization

What can you hold on to besides each other?! Use the wall for support, or if it’s a tub/shower combo, one person can sit on the edge of the tub and one can stand. Another option is having one person bend over and rest their hands on the tub edge or shower ledge. If you find you really like the shower, put in a grab bar!

Standing leg wrap around
In this position you are facing each other.
One partner’s back is against the wall, while the other partner faces them with their hands on the wall behind their partner for support. The partner against the wall wraps one leg around the person facing them for added stabilization.

Standing doggy
Both partners face away from the shower head and use the wall or shower ledge for support. Rather than being on hands and knees, the partner in front is bent over holding the wall or ledge.

Floor cowgirl or reverse cowgirl
One partner lays on the floor of the shower with the other straddling their lap facing frontwards or backwards. Watch out for the shower spray to the face/head!