Female Anatomy 101
Sex education for the majority of girls includes the internal female anatomy, but often leaves out the external. This blog is designed to give you a basic overview of female external anatomy. It can also be used to help give parents language to use as they educate their children about their bodies.
Sex education for the majority of girls includes the internal female anatomy, but often leaves out the external. So, while you may know terms such as uterus, ovaries and vagina. You may be less familiar with the vulva, labia and mons pubis. Beyond belief is the fact that the clitoris is often left out of sex education altogether. To be clear:
the clitoris is the central anatomy for female pleasure.
This blog is designed to give you a basic overview of female external anatomy. It can also be used to help give parents language to use as they educate their children.
VULVA
The vulva is the external female genitalia. I like to say - if you put your hand over your body from your pubic bone to below your vaginal opening -THIS is your vulva. It is A LOT more than your vagina, thus the reason we need to differentiate. (demo video)
The vulva and the vagina are not the same thing.
The vulva includes: the labia, clitoris, opening to the urethra, opening to the vagina, and mons pubis. No two vulvas are exactly the same.
Normal vulvas do not look like what you see in pornography or magazines. Those images are often airbrushed and altered. There is a lot of beautiful diversity in normal vulvas.
THE TWO OPENINGS IN THE VULVA
The opening to the vagina. The vagina is a muscular tube that extends from the vulva to the opening of the uterus called the cervix. Menstrual fluid/period blood flows from the vaginal opening. (demo video)
The opening to the urethra. The urethra is the tube that transports urine (pee) from the bladder to the outside of your body. It is located above the opening to the vagina and below the glans clitoris. Urine/pee flows from the urethral opening. (demo video)
MONS PUBIS
The mons pubis is the soft tissue mound that covers the pubic bone. During puberty, pubic hair grows in this area. The mons pubis contains oil-secreting glands that release pheromones, which play a role in sexual attraction. The mons pubis can be many shapes and sizes and can change as you age. Your body and your mons pubis is unique to you.
PUBIC HAIR
Pubic hair is not unhygienic or dirty and in fact serves a purpose. It provides a natural cushion against friction. It provides a barrier to help protect you from viruses and bacteria. It protects your skin against irritation and plays a role in regulating temperature. It is always your own personal decision what you do with your pubic hair.
CLITORIS
The clitoris is an entire network. The glans or head is the only external and visible part of a whole connected internal structure. The glans is located near the top of your vulva, where your inner labia meet. It can be about the size of a pea or as big as a thumb. Each person’s clitoris can be a different size. The clitoris is made up of spongy erectile tissue that swells with sexual arousal. There is a clitoral hood located where your labia minora (inner lips) meet. This hood may cover all, some or none of your glans clitoris. The clitoris has thousands of sensitive nerve endings. (demo video)
The primary function of the the clitoris: sensation and pleasure.
For more on the clitoris please see the blog: The Clitoris - it’s a Network!
LABIA
The vulva has two sets of labia. The outer lips are called labia majora. The inner lips are called labia minora. Female labia come in all shapes, sizes and coloring. The labia minora often extend beyond the labia majora. This is normal. The inner lips may be all one color, or may be several colors with possible darkening toward the ends. One lip may be longer or shorter than the other. Again, all normal.
PERINEUM
The perineum is located below the entrance to the vagina and above the anus. This small area has a network of blood vessels and tissue below the surface. For many, it is pleasure sensitive area after arousal and increased blood flow.
ANUS
The anus is located below the vaginal opening. It is the opening to your rectum. This is where feces (poop) exits your body. It has lots of sensitive nerve endings. The anus does not self lubricate. (demo video)
My Letter To Young Women
What did you grow up hearing about your body and developing sexuality? Was it positive and affirming or do words like “dirty,” “bad” and “shameful” come to mind? You are not alone.
You are a human woman and your humanness includes being a sexual being. Your female body, as well as the curiosity and arousal you feel as a sexual human woman, is normal. This is part of the beautiful complexity of how you are designed.
Rather than embracing the exquisite way we are made as women, we develop ways to hide it and even come to hate it. We are propelled along this path both overtly and covertly by what we are taught within our families, culture and by religious teaching.
What did you grow up hearing about your body and developing sexuality? Was it positive and affirming or do words like “dirty,” “bad” and “shameful” come to mind? You are not alone. Did you grow up with a resounding silence around your femaleness? Silence about your genitals, silence about your body changing, and silence regarding sex. You are not alone.
The vast majority of girls in North America grow up with this kind of messaging and/or with silence surrounding their sexuality. These negative messages plant themselves like seeds into our minds and bodies. What often grows from those seeds is shame.
Shame is the result of thinking or hearing, “I am bad.” Shame is different from guilt. Guilt is the result of thinking “I did something bad.” Shame can also be the result of silence. So, whether you experienced silence about sex, or negative messaging that left you feeling you are “bad,” both of these scenarios can lead to the shame cycle. For a long time now, our culture and some religious teachings have used this shaming as a way of teaching the purity message, especially to girls. It’s a subliminal way of spelling out who we are to be as females, how we are to act as “good girls,” and the negative narrative about if we fail to meet these expectations.
Author and shame researcher Brené Brown states, “Shame is not a compass for moral behavior.” I believe this is true. Shame is a lousy compass and presents us with directions that lead to roads of silence, self-lies and sexual disgust. It hides the pathways to healthy body image and sexuality.
While it is extremely difficult for us as women to change this negative mantra and the lies that have taken root in our minds and bodies; it is possible. Not only is it possible, but it is absolutely crucial for us as we travel the journey of becoming whole, healthy humans. How do we shift away from our body-hating, and our buried self-disgust of our sexuality? What steps can we take to move into affirming acceptance of ourselves and ultimately come to a place of embracing our body as she is?
First we must remind ourselves that our body image does not include adjectives such as “dirty,” “bad” or “shameful.” We must tell ourselves over and over that we do not need to deny our femaleness; we do not have to hate our bodies. It is important to really think through the negative messages we have absorbed over the years and decide if they honestly hold true for us or if we need to let them go. Another step we can take is to give ourselves permission to look at our genitals, actually use a mirror and become acquainted with our good and beautiful body as she is. There is nothing shameful or wrong about understanding our body and how she works. Lastly, we can be mindful and come to understand that sexual pleasure for women is beautiful and we are equipped with the sexual anatomy to experience that pleasure.
I urge you to remind each other of our female uniqueness. Seize opportunities to encourage the women in your life toward acceptance of the goodness in how we are beautifully made. Speak the words of truth to each other - that we are beloved, fully accepted and truly loved as we are right now. As we do these things, we will begin to break the silence surrounding female sexuality. The silence that is within ourselves and amongst ourselves that hinders us from embracing the beautiful creation of woman. The beautiful creation of YOU.
Cindy
Do I Need To Douche?
Do I need to douche? No, the vagina is a self cleaning organ.
Forget all the damaging myths that your vagina is in need of some kind of cleaning
There is so much false and constant messaging that women’s genitalia is in need of upkeep at all times. Beware! This incorrect information comes from sources that are also trying to sell you something.
The vagina is a self-cleaning organ
It uses natural secretions to carry dead cells and unwanted bacteria out of your body.
This means that douching and using other products like deodorants, sprays, washes, or powders is not a healthy practice. These kinds of products can disturb the natural pH balance found in the vagina.
Let your vagina clean herself. She is perfectly capable to do so!
Here’s my live answer to this frequently asked question at a recent workshop:
What Is The Hymen?
The shape, size and flexibility of a hymen is unique to each person.
Here are some facts about the hymen:
The hymen is a thin membrane-like tissue that’s located inside the opening of the vagina
The shape, size, and flexibility of a hymen is unique to each person
The hymen tissue doesn’t have a known function
Most often the hymen naturally has a hole or holes in it.
These holes are big enough for menstrual blood to come out
There are some vulvas with so little hymenal tissue that it would appear they don’t have one
There are rare cases where the hymen covers the entire vaginal opening requiring surgical intervention
The hymen tissue is thin and is naturally stretched with activities like riding a bike, playing sports and inserting a tampon or finger into the vagina.
Once stretched, the hymen does not grow back.
The hymen is a membrane with relatively few blood vessels, so if torn or stretched, may not bleed significantly.
An examination of the hymen is NOT an accurate or reliable “test” of history of sexual activity.
Are There Different Kinds Of Orgasms?
Are there really different types of female orgasms? Let's just say there isn't one "right" answer.
Are there really different types of female orgasms?
People constantly ask about the validity of differentiating between orgasms such as: clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, blended, uterine and on the list goes.
Honestly, even the scientists cannot agree on the answer to this question, so let's just say there isn't one "right" answer. There is not one orgasm that is “better” than another. It is good to remember that orgasm is a sudden release in sexual tension, and it can be brought about in a myriad of ways. Also important to recognize that the context in which you have an orgasm influences your perception of the sensation.
Here are some things we DO know to be true about female orgasm:
Women are fabulously unique and diverse and report varied experiences with orgasm. They are all normal.
Women can experience orgasm differently depending on where they are being stimulated and experiencing arousal.
The clitoral network is larger and more involved than most people understand and likely plays a role in many or most genital orgasms through direct or indirect stimulation.
The vast majority of women do not orgasm with intercourse or penetration alone. Using specific pleasure techniques can increase the chances of orgasm with penetration.
Women can enjoy different kinds of sensations at different times of the day, month, year, and season of life.
Women experience pleasure very individually and also experience variety within their own experiences with orgasm.
Women may ejaculate with an orgasm and may experience squirting unrelated or related to orgasm.
Orgasm may feel small or huge; like a whisper or a hurricane: intense or gentle, more like a lapping wave on the shore or a tidal wave out of the sea. There is a large scale to draw from and anywhere it feels on the scale is healthy and normal.
A woman’s vulva or vagina is not the only route to orgasm.
Women report highly pleasurable orgasms from breast stimulation, having their toes sucked, while fantasizing or pleasuring their partner orally, for example.
Women have reported orgasms in which they did not feel pleasure, for example during a period of depression, during sleep or exercise.
My overall encouragement for women is to focus on the pleasure they experience rather than try to categorize their orgasms. Learn to express, experience and enjoy!
More on this topic:
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Is there a G-spot?
20 Orgasms
Orgasm -answering your questions
Do women ejaculate? What is squirting?
The key to female pleasure
Let’s talk orgasms
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
The Clitoris - It's a Network!
Fun fact: The word clitoris is thought to come from the Greek word, kleis, a key. It’s the key to unlocking the door to pleasure.
*Fun fact: The word clitoris is thought to come from the Greek word, kleis, a key.
It’s the key to unlocking pleasure
When asked to identify this 3-D picture model of the clitoris network, (pictured above), most people give answers like “I have no idea” or “a tulip emoji,” or even “a wishbone.”
This model provides some much needed insight into the shape and 10-centimeter size of the pleasure center for women.
Yes! It’s an entire NETWORK
Here are some facts about the clitoris to help you understand the entire network. As you read along, keep looking back to the 3-D model for reference; this will help you get a better understanding of where all the parts are as well as where they connect.
The clitoris is actually composed of many parts, ALL of which can play a role in pleasure.
The clitoris is a network of erectile tissue. It has as much internal erectile tissue as a penis does externally. Because it isn’t visible from the outside, many don’t know it is there! All of this erectile tissue can respond when aroused.
Due to the design of the whole clitoris it takes time to warm up and become aroused. Studies are clear that most women require 12-20 minutes or more of arousal (warming up activities) to reach orgasm.
The clitoris has thousands and thousands of nerve endings.
The primary Function of the clitoris is PLEASURE
The visible part of the clitoris on the vulva is called the glans or head. Sometimes it is referred to as the “love button,” because for many women it’s the most sensitive part of the clitoris. The glans is protected by the hood. The glans is attached to the clitoral shaft that runs just beneath the surface of the skin.
The shaft is composed of erectile tissue and is extremely receptive to sensation. It forks and divides like a “wishbone” with branches. These legs of the clitoris extend deep within the tissue of the vulva, and split to straddle the urethra and the vagina. To be clear: The clitoris extends INTERNALLY all the way to the base of the vaginal opening, meaning you have sensation points from the tip-top to the very bottom (pun intended).
The internal part of the clitoris is connected to the glans and shaft by two “spongy-like” bulbs of erectile tissue. These bulbs engorge with blood and increase in size when sexually aroused. The more aroused, the more increase of pleasure points internally with penetration or external pressure.
important keys to unlock ALL the pleasure
Every women is different. Every woman may desire different stimulation, and every woman is normal!
In other words, some women really love direct stimulation to the glans or head, while some women find that painful or too sensitive. Some women enjoy stimulation to the hood but not to the glans directly. And some enjoy penetration or massage/pressure to access all the internal nerve endings within the network.
This is all normal (Do you hear my theme here?)
There isn’t a right or wrong way -- or better or best. It is all about what each individual woman enjoys and what brings them pleasure.
I do think many women -- and most men -- simply do not understand how vast the network is. So often all the focus is on the glans or “love button.” If the glans brings you ALL the pleasure you desire, wonderful! However, what many women find as they explore stimulating other sensitive parts of the network is that there may be multiple ways to feel pleasure and different ways to orgasm.
I frequently get asked questions about the G-spot, so let’s use that as one example.
The G-spot is part of the clitoral network
It is not some spot on its own, it is a connected part of the network. This area is a clitoris cluster that attaches to the vaginal ceiling, Made up of spongy erectile tissue, it doesn’t have nearly the number of nerve endings as the clitoral head. Most often this area responds to massaging pressure that is persistent, (think: come hither motion) after a period of arousal has taken place. For some, this is a real focal point of pleasure; for others, not so much.
Again, different experiences and all normal
My encouragement to you is to get to know yourself and your body more and more. Help yourself and your partner figure out what brings you pleasure. Have fun in the process. Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment and laugh and moan along the way. This knowledge about the clitoris network may open up a whole new arousal world for you. Then again, it may not. Either way, you are normal.
Make pleasure the goal
Reels with demo’s on IG
Parts of the clitoris
Network under the surface
To learn more about these topics
Female arousal
Female anatomy
G-spot
The clitoris has a hood
Pleasure techniques with penetration
Cliteracy
Make some noise