Breaking The Silence
I left my nursing clinical position to pursue the passion of my heart: to teach and speak to women about their bodies, sex, intimacy and parenting our children through their growing sexuality.
My heart has always been drawn to connecting with women, whether it be family, friends, or patients. I chose to begin my nursing career in labor and delivery more than 30 years ago because helping women was my favorite. I then had three daughters of my own, which basically turned my life and home into all things girls, and more girls!
This long time tug on my soul — to connect with and encourage girls and women — is why I left my nursing clinical position earlier this year to pursue the passion of my heart: to teach and speak to women, especially about sex, intimacy and parenting our children through their growing sexuality. I have been doing this “on the side” for the last three decades, but now I am ALL in!
Throughout my many years in healthcare, I have repeatedly found myself stunned at the silence surrounding women and sex. It's heartbreaking that so many parents remain quiet and uncomfortable having conversations with their children about their bodies and sex. You can often hear me say, “Silence is the enemy” when it comes to sex and sex education. I want to help break that silence!
Every time I speak, many women come up afterward with questions, problems and heartache over their sexual lives. Time and again women of all ages tell me they have never, ever talked to anyone about their concerns, uncertainty, confusion and frustrations concerning sex. There is a vital need for women to have someone to talk to and hear from regarding the right information about how their bodies work as well as the newer science around female sexuality and ways for them to enjoy and experience pleasure.
This is my passion! I want to break the silence with education and conversation — for women and for our children. I want to help move us toward understanding ourselves, seeking answers and obtaining fruitful information. I feel strongly that knowledge leads to confidence. Confidence leads to opening conversations — conversations that matter.
Let’s talk about SEX!
Book Review: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D
Come As You Are is one of the best books I have read on women and sex.
Come As You Are is one the best books written on women and sex.
Dr. Emily Nagoski had me hooked in the introduction. “For a long time in Western science and medicine, women’s sexuality was viewed as Men’s Sexuality Lite -- basically the same but not quite as good,” she writes. “For instance, it was just sort of assumed that since men have orgasms during penis-in-vagina sex (intercourse), women should have orgasms with intercourse too, and if they don’t, it’s because they’re broken. In reality, about 30 percent of women orgasm reliably with intercourse. The other 70 percent sometimes, rarely, or never orgasm with intercourse, and they’re all healthy and normal.”
I mean COME ON!
I am all-in for this read! I know from over 33 years of working with women, that many do not know this fundamental statistic and understanding this can be a pleasure gamechanger!
Dr. Nagoski, Ph.D, draws on her vast experience as both an educator and researcher to break down the newest science on women and sex. She spells things out in a way you can both understand and put to use immediately. I really appreciate her writing style, which is informative but also delightfully sassy and caring -- the combination makes her easy to read.
“You Are Normal”
This is Nagoski’s mantra. And it is the one message so many women need to hear. Also reinforced is the vital role your brain plays as your biggest sex organ, and why. Included within each section are interactive activities, exercises, worksheets, and example stories of both gay and straight women.
Through the research presented, a few things you will learn include: the “partnerships of accelerator and brakes” within sexual response (with ideas about “Turning On the Ons, Turning Off the Off’s”); facts about responsive desire and sexual arousal; and how context (your environment and mental state) influence response. Any one of these concepts might be life-changing for a woman’s understanding of sex and their own body.
Dr. Nagoski’s goal is one I heartily share: “Improve your relationship with your own sexuality.”
Note: This blog includes affiliate links from Amazon. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn money from actions readers take on these links, such as a click or purchase. However, this is a book that I recommend fully and have purchased myself.
Book Review: I am Confident, Brave & Beautiful by Hopscotch Girls
I have always been a fan of coloring for kids and adults alike, and I am even more of a fan of confidence-builders for girls!
I am Confident, Brave & Beautiful: A Coloring Book For Girls is a coloring book of positive affirmations is designed for girls ages 3 to 8, but certainly can be used by girls a bit older. I have always been a fan of coloring for kids and adults alike, and I am even more of a fan of confidence-builders for girls!
This book was designed by Hopscotch Girls, a company dedicated to empowering girls through strong female role models, inspiring confidence, and providing messaging about healthy body image. I used to buy their magazine back in the day for my own young daughters.
Some example pages include: “I am Strong,” “I am Curious, “I am Kind.” YES! YES! YES!
This is great gift idea for any little girl in your life. It can also be used as a parent/child project, or for girls to color and give pages away to their friends with a hug or fist pump.