The reality is - it isn’t really a “spot.” It is not all alone on its own, but a connected part of the clitoral pleasure network. (Read more on the clitoral network here.)
The G-spot is actually a clitoris “cluster” made up of spongy erectile tissue. There is no magic “button” and researchers continue to be mystified in attempting to find an actual spot. So relax, and have fun experimenting. Find what brings you pleasure in your own body.
This area of erectile tissue attaches to the vaginal ceiling (the upper wall of the vagina just inside the entrance to the vagina). That would be at about 12 o’clock when a woman is lying on her back. It is about 2-3 inches in the vagina directly below the urethra. This area only becomes distinguishable when a woman is aroused and the area is engorged with blood.
The degree of sexual sensation in this area varies widely from woman to woman and can also vary within the same woman. Factors such as arousal level, time of the month and season of life may come into play regarding the variance. So, for some women, this may be a real focal area of pleasure, for others, not so much. Every woman experiences pleasure differently and all are NORMAL.
If you are trying to find the G-spot, most often this area responds to massaging pressure that is persistent whether manual, or with penetration of a penis or toy. When using finger(s), you’ll want to firmly but gently use a “come-hither” curl motion. Try not to focus on finding a spot but rather stimulate the whole erogenous zone. As you become aroused, you might feel a slight increase in firmness to the tissues as they engorge with blood. You also may want to press a finger up against the vaginal ceiling and hold it there. This area is not as sensitive as the clitoral head so it can usually tolerate firm, persistent pressure.
Positions that seem to provide the best G-spot stimulation with intercourse are the woman-on-top and rear-entry positions. Remember you are attempting to provide persistent stimulation to the upper wall of the vagina. Orgasms with G-spot stimulation may or may not result in ejaculate of some clear fluid from the urethral glands that exist in the spongy tissue. This is normal whether it happens or doesn’t happen.